Warfare Results - 08/02/2021

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Warfare Results - 08/02/2021

Post by Ashlee » Tue Aug 03, 2021 10:17 pm


Mauro Ranallo: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! EBWF is live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota and this is Warfare!

Pyro shot off all over the arena as the crowd cheered and Monday’s best wrestling show got underway. “See Your Hands” by Driven hit and Taya Valkyrie marched to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Nigel McGuinness: It certainly sounds like Taya Valkyrie has some dissenters in the crowd, and she doesn’t seem to be bothered by that one bit, Mauro!

“Geek” by MC Chris blared through the PA and Taya looked on as she awaited her opponent. The crowd was cheering for Leva Bates as the librarian was introduced by Christy Hemme and got into the ring.

Mauro Ranallo: This crowd seems firmly behind Leva. And she is loving it.

Leva walked up the steel steps and got into the ring. She made a big show of putting her index finger to her lips and the crowd quickly hushed as she grinned. She carefully removed her glasses, but Taya snatched them and threw them down on the mat, stomping on them to a chorus of boos, before charging Leva and taking her down.

Nigel McGuinness: Very unsporting there. Just very unsporting.

Bates fired back with some strikes. Taya hit a steam roller then a senton. She went for a cover but Bates kicked out. Taya locked on a neck crank, but Bates powered out. Taya tried for another senton, but Bates evaded and hit a dropkick int he corner and followed up with a splash. Bates landed a few high kicks followed up with a boot. She hit a northern lights suplex, into a bridge, but Taya kicked out at two!

Mauro Ranallo: I thought Leva had it there.

Bates set up Taya in the corner, but Taya evaded and took Bates down. Taya berated Bates while raining down with stomps. Taya was pleased with herself and turned to taunt the crowd, taking her attention off of Leva for just a moment too long. Bates hit a superkick and then rolled up the small package.




Nigel McGuinness: And a hard fought, but decisive victory for Leva Bates here tonight!

The crowd continued to cheer as Leva’s arm was raised in victory and EBWF went to commercial.


Warfare returned from commercial as “Take Over” played and the crowd cheered loudly as the entire Coalition made their way to the ring.

Mauro Ranallo: The Coalition have to be in a good mood after Christian Cage won the Breakout Championship last week.

Nigel McGuinness: Of course, they're all in a good mood, Mauro. When someone brings gold into a group everyone should be happy.

After The Coalition entered the ring, Christian held up his championship as the crowd chanted, "You deserve it!”. Christian then grabbed a microphone.

Christian Cage: You know, standing in this ring with my friends, looking out in the crowd filled with my Peeps, I gotta say this is one of the greatest moments in my entire life.

The rest of The Coalition clapped along with the crowd.

Christian Cage: Last week, I defeated Raven to become the new EBWF Breakout Champion.

The crowd cheered as Christian admired the championship draped over his shoulder.

Christian Cage: Last week, after I won this championship, I gave myself a mission. That mission is to bring back dignity to this championship. You see, because for nearly two years this championship has been tarnished by the likes of Lio Rush, who was handed the title. Tomohiro Ishii, who just screamed a lot and had an interpreter say...

Christian began to mock the interpreter.

Christian Cage: "Tomohiro Ishii knows when you're making fun of him. Tomohiro Ishii knows when you insult him and keep in mind that I only speak the Queens English."

The crowd laughed as did The Coalition.

Christian Cage: It's safe to say that the last few champions have kinda sucked. Which is why this championship needs me.

Christian smiled.

Christian Cage: But enough about me, because my friends here didn't just come out here to hear me talk.

Christian handed the mic to Maven.

Maven: Rated RKO you are without a doubt the most dominant tag team in EBWF history, and while I don't like you two, I have to admit that holding the Tag Team titles for over a year is impressive. But here's a thing I learned from Hollywood, while Act 1 is good, and Act 2 is better, Act 3 will be the thing that everyone will remember.

Maven chuckled.

Maven: Boys, your reign as Tag Team champions is in Act 3, and Kane and myself will finish the story by taking the EBWF Tag Team titles. Any time. Any place. Anywhere. We will take what's ours.

Maven handed the mic to Alexa Bliss.

Alexa Bliss: Well, after two weeks, Trish Stratus will respond to my comments later tonight. Now Trish, you'll probably come out here and say that you're better than me. Then cry about a video game cover that may or may not be real, but deep down you know that everything I said two weeks ago is the truth. And not only do you and I know it, but all these fans know it as well.

Alexa smirked.

Alexa Bliss: So, all I'll say Trish, is that whatever you say remember I'll be listening.

The crowd cheered as Alexa dropped the mic and waved at the camera as “Papercut” played.


“Baller’s Anthem” hit MVP made his way to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Mauro Ranallo: MVP has some fans in the house tonight.

Nigel McGuinness: Still fairly new to EBWF and getting his feet wet with this audience.

Mauro Ranallo: You have to wonder, Nigel, with the Breakout championship in The Coalition, how do guys like MVP and Maven feel that Christian is holding that title? It seems like a great opportunity for them!

Nigel McGuinness: You’re just trying to breed dissension in The Coalition, Mauro! They’re broud of their leader.

“No More Words” hit before Mauro could retort and Hardy did his usual entrance to boos from the crowd. Hardy peered out into the crowd.

Mauro Ranallo: Jeff can’t believe the disrespect.

Jeff got into the ring, and a light “MVP” chant went up in the crowd. The bell rang as Jeff Hardy took off against MVP landing some right hands. MVP bailed to the outside, Hardy chased him down, MVP leapt back inside the ring, and attempted a kick to the face. Hardy dodged, and dragged MVP out and threw him into the ring barricade. Hardy nailed MVP's head off the ring and threw him back inside. Hardy hit a scoop slam on MVP, followed by a springboard leg drop. Jeff went for the pin, but MVP got a foot on the ropes.

Mauro Ranallo: Great ring awareness from MVP!

Hardy went to work on MVP's arm. MVP got to his feet and took Hardy down with an arm drag. Hardy rolled through and kept working on MVP's arm. MVP backed to the corner to break it up. MVP attempted a kick, but Hardy dodged it and got some kicks in of his own. Hardy landed a big forearm in the corner, and then Irish whipped MVP to the corner. Hardy charged and MVP leveled him with a huge release overhead belly-to-belly suplex right into the corner.

Nigel McGuinness: Cover by MVP!


Nigel McGuinness: And Hardy kicks out!

MVP went to work on Hardy's neck after taking him out with the big belly-to-belly suplex. MVP then turned this over into a camel clutch. MVP yelled at the referee to ask Hardy if he gives up. MVP landed a few shots to the face. Hardy tried to fight out and MVP kept him grounded applying a Boston crab. Hardy got to the bottom rope to break it up. MVP got in some kicks to the back on Hardy. Hardy rolled to the ring apron, attempted a springboard over the top rope, but MVP caught him with a big right hand. MVP then dropped his weight over Hardy's body. MVP with another cover!

Mauro Ranallo: Jeff kicks out again.

MVP put Hardy in a tree of woe in the corner. MVP grabbed Hardy by the head and slammed it off the mat. Another cover by MVP and Hardy again kicks out. MVP lifted Hardy to his shoulder. Hardy fought it off and took out MVP with a neck breaker. Hardy got a big kick to the sternum on MVP, but missed the double kick to the chest in the corner on MVP. MVP countered kicking Hardy back across the ring! MVP launched Hardy into the opposite corner, and charged, but Hardy took off and leveled MVP with a big clothesline.

Mauro Ranallo: MVP is down! The lights are on but no one’s home!

Hardy hit a side russian leg sweep on MVP and hooked both legs!


Nigel McGuinness: MVP kicks out just barely after two!

Hardy shows three fingers to the referee.

Mauro Ranallo: Hardy thought that was three, but he’s not letting up!

Hardy hit some kicks to MVP in the corner. Hardy attempted the dropkick to the chest in the corner again, but MVP stood up and put him on his shoulder. Hardy with a sunset flip. MVP countered and then Hardy took out MVP with a Whisper in the Wind. Hardy rushed up top and hit the Swanton Bomb!

Mauro Ranallo: Is this it?!




Nigel McGuinness: MVP was so close, but Jeff Hardy stole one away!

Mauro Ranallo: You have to believe Jeff Hardy is at least in the Gateway Title conversation after a win like this Nigel.

Hardy did not let the referee raise his hand, and instead flipped off the fans as they booed him until he left the arena.


After a Summerslam Ad played the cameras went back out to the arena where pink strobes began to dot the audience.

“You don’t have to love me. You don’t even have to like me. But you will respect me. You know why? Cause I’m a boss!”

The opening cords of “Bossy” played before bleeding into “Time to Rock n’ Roll” and the EBWF crowd welcomed Trish Stratus.

Nigel McGuinness: Love her or hate her, she is an icon!

Mauro Ranallo: And she knows it too, Nigel.

Trish thanked Christy Hemme for the provided microphone, and she stood at the center of the ring. She took a deep breath as the crowd cheered her on.

Trish Stratus: You know, I’ve had two weeks to really think about what Alexa Bliss had to say. And before I get into it, I want to be really upfront with how I feel. You see, the truth is, Alexa wasn’t wrong.

A mixed reaction went up, with some cheering the revelation while others booed.

Trish Stratus: Now hear me out. Hear me out. We all know I don’t care much for Alexa Bliss. It’s no surprise. I think she’s overrated. Think she’s overhyped. And I think she’s got some nerve coming for me. She wasn’t completely right, but she wasn’t wrong. The thing is EBWF Universe, I love you guys.

This brought cheers.

Trish Stratus: I wouldn’t be Trish Stratus without you. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. And when Alexa reminded me of what I did in Canada. And then again, what I did during the Queen of the Ring tournament, I have to admit she had a point. She didn’t deserve my talent. Rosemary and Winter didn’t deserve my talent. But you all did. You deserved to see me represent EBWF, and represent my fanbase, and I failed there. For that, EBWF Universe, I need you to know that I am truly sorry.

There was another mixed reaction, and Trish became a little more animated.

Trish Stratus: Alexa is hoping that this remorse will result in Trish versus Alexa.

The crowd cheered.

Trish Stratus: Alexa is hoping that my ego will prevent me from turning down a challenge. Alexa is hoping that I’m just going to stand back and let her read me to filth with no repercussions. Alexa, are you sure that’s what you want?

Some mild “Yes” chants started to go up in the arena.

Trish Stratus: Are you sure you want to drag me out of this place where I’m just coasting by on good enough and name recognition? Well, if you’re sure…

Trish grinned.

Trish Stratus: There’s a time when the veterans have to stand back, let the light shine on someone else, kick the little baby Alexas out of the nest and hope they fly. But for some reason, Alexa is turning her spotlight right back on me. That, my dear, was your first mistake. Everything you hear about me, longest reigning women’s champion, multi-decorated champion, quintessential diva… when I’m front and center everyone complains that I’ve done it all and I won’t give anyone a chance.

Trish put her hand out to the audience, almost as if comically pleading.

Trish Stratus: You were there! You all saw it! I tried. I tried to just slowly fade into a schedule that had me showing up when I was needed. Hell, Raquel, Becky, Leva, Alexa… they can take it from here! You all saw me try. I refused matches. I threw matches. I tried to help push those girls all the way to the top so that when you fans talked about the Women’s Division they were the first names you said, but now Alexa wants to pull me back in. So next time any one of those bitches in the back…

The crowd cheered.

Trish Stratus: …says they’ve seen enough of Trish Stratus. You remind them that Alexa Bliss is begging for me to Chick Kick her in her pretty little face.

Trish shrugged playfully.

Trish Stratus: I heard what you had to say earlier, Alexa, and I have a fair warning for you. Listen close, because I’m only going to say this once. I spend a lot of time living rent free in your head. You think you know what I’ll say. You think you know what I’ll do. I know you’re back there watching, Alexa. I’m not sure that you have a brain between your ears smart enough to comprehend what I’m saying, but I also heard you when you said that whatever I had to say, you’d be listening. Well, that’s a relief. Hear this…

Trish peered down the camera.

Trish Stratus: When you leave Summerslam questioning every decision you’ve ever made, don’t say I didn’t warn you. The greatest women’s wrestler of all time, the Goddess of all realms, the Queen of all eras… bows to no one.

Trish dropped the mic, and her theme played out as she left the ring to an enthusiastic ovation. EBWF went to commercial.


“Go back to sleep!”

The crowd erupted as the tag team champions walked out from behind the curtain. Randy Orton calmly walked down the ramp, both of his title belts over his shoulders as Edge amped up the crowd.

Mauro Ranallo: The accolades are obvious. You can see them draped over their shoulders, but that doesn’t do it justice. Rated RKO might be one of the most successful tag teams in EBWF history.

Nigel McGuiness: You can’t argue that, Mauro. You look at teams like the Thrillseekers or DX that had multiple reigns throughout their time, that just means they lost them multiple times. Rated RKO has been tag champions twice, both reigns near record setting in their duration. And technically, they never lost them.

Mauro Ranallo: A scary thought to consider what the tag team championship landscape would have looked like if Orton hadn’t ben hurt in 2013.

Rated RKO got into the ring, handing their plethora of championship titles over to the referee who deposited them with the time keeper.

“I came to play!”

The crowd cheered as the fan favorite Gateway Champion made his way down to the ring, looking out at the crowd in attendance.

Mauro Ranallo: Speaking of decorated, The Miz presents a very interesting conundrum to the current World Champion, Randy Orton.

Nigel McGuiness: At any time, the Miz could cash in that Gateway Championship and make a run at the current champ. With Rey Mysterio looming as his Summerslam opponent, Randy Orton certainly has his work cut out for him.

“Booyaka Booyaka! 619!”

An unmasked Rey Mysterio walked out from behind the curtain, unphased by the boos raining down on him from the audience.

Mauro Ranallo: I know it’s been a little while, but I am still shocked at this new attitude coming from Rey Mysterio, Jr.

Nigel McGuiness: That’s because you’re lame, Mauro! Rey has finally done the one thing that has been long overdue, focus on himself! He no longer cares about making the crowd happy, he no longer cares about dazzling the fans. He’s here to win, period. And look what’s happened - he’s the King of the Ring! Hard to say it hasn’t paid off.

Rey Mysterio got in the ring and he and the Miz had a heated discussion about who would start off. Eventually, the Rey capitulated and the Miz started off with Edge. The two circled the ring before the Miz stepped in for a tie up. Edge worked him into a headlock and the two exchanged mat wrestling maneuvers.

Mauro Ranallo: The amount of wrestling experience in this matchup alone - this feels like something we should be paying for, Nigel.

Nigel McGuiness: I agree. Every single person in that ring is a wrestling legend and would be remembered forever if their career was over today.

The Miz threw Edge into the ropes and Edge put him on his back with a shoulder block. Without hesitating, he picked up Miz into a headlock and dragged him into the Rated RKO corner, tagging in Orton. Orton stepped in and started laying in measured knees into the Miz’s ribs. He threw Miz to the ground and began systematically stomping on his fingers, ankles, his forehead, and other extremities. Orton attempted to drag the Miz back up, but the Miz elbowed him several times in the gut and then hit a swinging DDT. Miz went for the pin and got a two count.

Mauro Ranallo: The Miz trying to end it early here!

Miz dragged Randy towards his corner and tagged in Mysterio, who quickly stepped into the ring and went to work on Randy, stomping him multiple times in the chest. The stomps got more and more aggressive as Mysterio went on, until the referee started counting and forced a break in the corner. Rey quickly picked Randy up and threw him out of the ring, stepping out after him. Randy turned around and connected with a hard right and the two exchanged blows outside the ring.

Nigel McGuiness: A possible preview to the intensity we’re going to see at Summerslam!

Mysterio poked Randy in the eye and grabbed him, throwing him towards the steps. Randy’s shoulder crashed into the steps with a loud boom, the stairs becoming detached from the floor.

Mauro Ranallo: Mama Mia! Randy’s well documented shoulder issues could come into play in this match!

Rey was maliciously working Randy’s shoulder outside, slamming his arm on the barricade, and throwing him against the ring post. Randy has a look of agony on his features as he clutched his shoulder, trying to shake it out. Mysterio pursued him, trying to keep the pressure on. Before he could react, Randy hit a big boot on Mysterio and sent him down to the mat. He then quickly rolled back into the ring, smacking his shoulder and trying to get some feeling back in his arm. Rey slowly made his way up to the apron and Randy grabbed him by the head, pulling him through the ropes with his good arm. Without a second’s hesitation, Randy hit the rope hung DDT, flattening Mysterio on the mat. The crowd cheered as Orton rolled Mysterio over and hooked the leg.



3-kick out!

Mysterio kicked out at the last possible second, and Randy continued shaking his arm out as Mysterio began to crawl towards his corner. The Miz had his hand outstretched for the tag.

Mauro Ranallo: Mysterio needs to get the Miz into this match! Randy’s vulnerable, and the fresh man should give them the advantage!

Mysterio crawled closer to the Miz as Edge plopped down from the apron and quickly made his way around the ringside area. The Miz and Mysterio were inches away from tagging when The Miz suddenly dropped off the apron, his chin bouncing off the unforgiving surface.

Mauro Ranallo: Edge just pulled The Miz off the apron! Saavy move by the Ultimate Opportunist!

Randy quickly followed up by picking Rey up and hitting an inverted headlock backbreaker with his healthy arm. Wincing in pain, Randy began pounding the mat and setting Rey up for the RKO. Miz slowly got back to his spot on the apron as Mysterio turned around into an RKO, but Mysterio pushed Randy off and Randy landed on the ropes. Mysterio wasted no time in running off the ropes and hitting the 619!

Mauro Ranallo: 619! Mysterio hit it!

Randy crumpled on the mat as Mysterio walked back towards The Miz, gesturing as if he was about to make the tag. But then...

Mauro Ranallo: What the hell?!?

Mysterio angrily grabbed Miz by the neck and pulled him into the ring, laying into him with vicious punches. The Miz put up his hands to try and defend but Mysterio was relentless, hitting rights and lefts on The Miz’s face as hard as he could.

Nigel McGuiness: Rey Mysterio, Jr has lost it! What has gotten into him?!

Mauro Ranallo: One can only assume that Mysterio is angry that he couldn’t tag in the Miz when he needed him, but that was hardly The Miz’s fault!

Randy and Edge looked at each other and sighed. The both of them immediately approached Mysterio and started attacking him, kicking and punching him and trying to wrench him off of Miz.

Mauro Ranallo: Did...did Randy and Edge just come to The Miz’s defense?!

Nigel McGuiness: I’m as shocked as you are, Mauro.

The Miz looked on as Mysterio started fighting both members of Rated RKO. Without hesitation, The Miz charged forward and tackled Mysterio out of the ring. The two exchanged blows up the ramp as Rated RKO watched on. The referee started counting as the Gateway Champion and the King of the Ring went blow for blow as they made their exit.

Mauro Ranallo: Well it looks like Rated RKO is going to get a countout victory here, but the headline is that as quickly as Mysterio and Miz’s tag team was created, it seems to now be over.

The referee counted to ten and called for the bell as “Counting Bodies Like Sheep” began playing in the arena. Randy and Edge smirked and shrugged as they celebrated their win with the crowd and EBWF went off the air.
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