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We open on a shot of a blue Jeep Cherokee driving fast down the back roads. We cut inside to where Bayley is behind the wheel driving and Dakota is looking at a map. They are both bopping their heads up and down to the stereo which is blasting Shiny Happy People by REM. They are both singing to the song, but both getting the words wrong. In the back seat , a whole bunch of balloons can be seen blocking the rear window. They share a laugh and high five each other.
Bayley: Wow, this is the life. Traveling town to town listening to classic tunes with a good friend and wrestling to boot. I mean if YOU would have defeated that potato smelling Becky Lynch it be alot better instead of tapping out. But we have to look on the bright side. So saying that, even though you lost, life don't get better than that. Unless maybe if we had some pizza subs. That be a bit better... damn Dakota, I am starved.
Dakota: I know, Bayls. I messed up, i took that Man less serious than I should have. That's on me. That's on me.... We should have taken her out after the match and kick her butt... any this week you have Kacy Catanzaro so we still have a chance to be off to a great start...just keep an eye out for all of her flipidy doo moves. She's a quick one... Mate, this is going to be good. This reminds me of the line from the movie Titanic...
Bayley: We're THE King of the world... but instead of KING it's QUEEN right?
Dakota: No... no... that's a good one too. I was thinking of the line "ICE BERG STRAIGHT AHEAD!" But yours is better... yeah...much better...
Bayley(laughs): Haha I love Billy Zane. He's great at playing bad guys in boat movies...
Dakota: I can't wait to see you step in the ring and do some damage to Little Miss Kacy Catanzaro. I will back you up and be in your corner, right Bayls! She is a tough one, that's for sure. But I think we can handle her... she's very quick and fast with her jumping and flips and all that... but you got this.
Bayley: You knows it!! Just be ready to throw in the towel, Dakota. Throw. It. In!
Dakota: Hmmm.. only throw in a towel if you can't continue the match with Kacy... right?
Bayley: Yes, that too...you do that. If Catanzaro starts to win IN ANYWAY you immediately throw in the towel...
Dakota: Hmmm... no again you have it wrong. Only throw it in if you are um like, seriously injured and can't go on...
Bayley: If i am so damn hurt from Kacy kicking my butt early on in the match, how are you supposed to know WHEN to throw in the towel.??? Just throw it in about 6-7 minutes just in case.
Dakota: You're not getting it...
Dakota(confused): You've already made that reference, mate. And I whole heartily agree. But seriously, meeting these sick kids and giving them hope and um, er, um ... more hope... um, yeah? Will be good for them and even us. Encouragement you know? Plus make us look awesome in the company's eyes...
Bayley: Totally. And we need to pick up some Balloons for these kids too! Before we forget...
Dakota looking at the balloons in the back seat.
Dakota: Um, Bayls? We already have TOO many balloons for these kids, I think...
Bayley: Those balloons aren't for the kids... they're just my personal everyday balloons.
Dakota: Of course! That makes more sense. I do love learning from you...
Bayley: And I LOVE teaching you! Blerp!
Bayley pokes Dakota on her nose. Just as she does this they hit something in the road and the vehicle swerves into a sign saying LOUISE DRIVE. Doing little damage to it. The CD player begins skipping as Dakota begins kicking it with her feet.
Dakota: Stupid garbage CD player... we were Jammin' too! We was jammin'!
Bayley looking through the balloons to see what she hit.
Bayley: Oh man, did I hit a dog? It wasn't a child right? Oh GOD I hope I didn't just run over a poor child or dog.
Dakota: Maybe you hit a puppy, worst of both worlds. Maybe a Golden Retriever Puppy... oh you must feel like crap, mate.
Bayley: DING DONG! SHUT UP, DAKOTA! Ugh! Wait! What's that smell i'm smelling?
Dakota: Smells like bad body odor ... or like a skunk smell. Could have you hit...?
Bayley: Becky Lynch! I just ran over one of the EBWFs hottest, yet smelliest, acts within the company... I am in so much trouble. I might not even make it to my match at Warfare with Catanzaro. I'll be fired instead!
Dakota: Well I personally think THAT would be a benefit to everyone in EBWF... not you being fired, the death of 'The Man' by you... but I would worry more about prison time. You may have killed The Man Becky Skunk, remember!?
Bayley: OH no! OH NO! Hang on, I have an idea...
Dakota: Call the police?
Bayley: Kind of...
Bayley reverses the jeep and backs up over whatever she ran over again. Dakota looks shocked.
Dakota: Bayley!
Bayley: Dakota!!!
Dakota: Why did you do that?
Bayley: It was either her or us, Dakota! You're either with me or without me!
Bayley makes her fingers into a gun and points it at Dakota. Dakota stupidly raises her hands as if it were a real gun.
Dakota: PUT THE GUN DOWN, BAYLS!!!
Bayley slowly puts her hand down even unloading a invisible clip into her other hand.
Dakota: What are we going to do now!?!?
Bayley: Third time's the charm...
Bayley proceeds to run over the thing again and drives off into the night.
A few minutes down the road they hear and see police sirens coming up behind them.
The highway patrol officer tells them to pull over. Bayley pulls her jeep to the side of the road, trying to stop the music from skipping. The police officer gets out of his car and slowly walks to the duo as HIGHER LOVE by Steve Winwood is currently loudly skipping from the stereo . Bayley and Dakota Kai smile at him with big goofy grins as he looks through the driver seat window. Dakota finally turns down the music.
Officer: License and registration please, ladies.
Bayley: Okie dokie doo, Officer poo!
Bayley leans over to the glove department and pulls out papers as she chuckles.
Dakota: She didn't mean to call you poo, it just rhymes with doo!
Officer: Are you ladies wrestlers?
Bayley(handing him the paperwork): Aww, is this sexy hunk of a Police Officer a fan of the EBWF? (Bayley winks at him) My friend Dakota and I are wrestlers, yes. I have this huge match at Warfare against this unimportant Kacy lady... we LOVE Becky Lynch by the way. No heat between us two. Just throwing... that out there. So who do you like more in or even out of the ring you sexy man you? Me or Dakota? Eh? Eh? Ehhh?
Dakota: Pick me! Pick me!
Bayley: NO! NO! PICK ME!
Dakota: PICK ME!
Both grown women raise their hands in excitement hoping to get 'picked' by the cop.
Officer: Ladies! Ladies! I am NOT a fan of EBWF! I see you young lady are in your wrestling gear. The tight spandex is a dead giveaway.
Dakota: I don't wear this all the time... only when i KICK ass in the ring. Kick... Kicking... it's kind of my thing. I am a kicker. Also i like when i see sick kids smile from my kicks... which is where we are going now. Children's Hospital. We're totally innocent ladies just doing our THANG! Annnnnd. I do adore Becky Lynch also. No hard feelings on this end after she beat me. So if you find her dead body don't suspect me...
Dakota motions her head in Bayley's direction to the officer.
Officer(laughs): Sick kids, huh? That explains the balloons too. I mean, imagine if you, an adult, just loved balloons so much you bought that many for yourself? I mean, LOSER ALERT!
Bayley(sad face): Ha... yeah? Loser...
Officer: Anyway, you ladies drive safe and slow down or i will have to give you a ticket.
Bayley: FOR WHAT!?!? THE MURDER OF BECKY LYNCH DUE TO A HIT AND RUN !! NOT US!! We didn't kill the skunk lady!
Officer: Um, right. Drive safe.
He walks back to his car as Dakota and Bayley look at each other in relief. They turn up the volume as more Steve Winwood plays as they drive away from the scene.
THE HOSPITAL
We see an exterior shot of the hospital. We go inside to a room door that says SICK KIDS ROOM. We hear crying from inside. The door slams open as a nurse throws out both Bayley and Dakota Kai into the hallway. Bayley and Dakota begin walking down the hallway.
Bayley: Yeah, well UP YOURS TOO!
Dakota: What a bunch of brats. (Dakota does an American accent) "WE WANT TO SEE TRISH STRATUS OR ALEXA BLISS! DERP! OR THE EBWF Womens Champ, Kam!" What jerks. And the crying? SO much crying?
Bayley: Hell if I was all bandaged up and chemo filled, I'd love to have the two hottest stars in EBWF show up... and you kicking the hell out of the balloons was a nice touch. Even though that one little girl was scared to near death... well... nearer death.
Dakota: So bloody stupid. And the one kid saying you were going to lose to Kacy at Warfare because she is a 'better wrestler' than you was such a little snot. Spoiled brats.
Bayley: I know, right? Hey! Do you have a couple of dollars? I wanna hit the vending machine before we hit the road...
Dakota: I am in my wrestling gear, Bayley. What kind of dumb question is that? OF COURSE I HAVE MONEY!
Dakota pulls a few dollar bills from her trunks and about to hands it to Bayley but they are grabbed from behind from the same highway officer. He pulls them in a room.
Officer: Okay ladies, spill the beans! Confess!
Dakota: Is that an American expression, Bayls? Spilling beans... doesn't make a lick of sense...
Bayley: Beans is a metaphor for the truth. Look up TRUTH in any dictionary and they always show a picture of a bean...
Dakota: I don't... I don't think that's correct.
Bayley scratches her head as the office snaps his fingers getting their attention. He walks over to the bed that is covered by a sheet in which the officer removes to reveal a person all bandaged up. The person begins mumbling something through the complete body cast.
Dakota: Hear that mumbling, Bayls?
Bayley: Oh my god, sounds like an Irish mumble jibber jabber. of an Irish skunky Becky Lynch.
Officer: THIS IS NOT BECKY LYNCH, LADIES! This is some poor sap who was run over by a Blue Jeep with two women in it while walking his pet skunk. Silly and weird I know and really stupid but I don't question peoples life styles. I don't approve to wrestling, your job, just as much as i dont approve of owning a live skunk as a pet. I have my quirks too... i find whoopie cushions absolutely hilarious... heck any fart sounds make me chuckle... sitting on the porch squeezing the cushion for hours and hours on end giggling and giggling...
Everyone gets awkward.
Officer: Ah hem, but that's aside the point, two women driving a Jeep down LOUISE DRIVE... ring a bell?
Dakota: Did you say ring a BEAN!?!
Officer: I clearly said bell.
Bayley: He did say Bell, Dakota.
Dakota: Oh, sorry.
The doctor enters the room with a folder. The man in the body cast begins mumbling as the doctor looks shocked.
Doctor: What's that? Your head hurts? Is that what he said? What part of your head hurts? Huh? What?
MUMBLES
Doctor: THE FRONT!?!?
Doctor looks at the women and cop with a smile.
Doctor: That's promising, I didn't even know his head had a front...
Officer: Does even speak? Did he lose his mouth in this 'accident' doc?
Doctor: Well there is noise coming from the 'head' area, I assume it's his mouth. But when i fed him soup earlier it winked at me!
Bayley: Poor bastard...
Officer: Damn right. You drive a what... 2016 Jeep Cherokee, Blue, am I not mistaken?
Bayley: Um... not even close. I drive a Blue "2017" Jeep Cherokee...
Dakota(laughing under her breath):... 2016... haha.
Bayley nudges Dakota with her elbow also giggling to herself. The officer grabs the doctors clip board and throws it against the wall in rage.
Officer: DAMN IT! I THOUGHT I WAS SO CLOSE TO CATCHING THE HIT AND RUN DRIVER!!!!!
Dakota: May we leave...?
Bayley: Wasting our time... don't you know I have to wrestle next week. I forget her name already but whatever it is... I don't have time for this crap, bud.
Officer: I have no other questions, ladies. You may go...
Bayley and Dakota rush out of the room as the man in the body cast mumbles intensely moving around. The doctor quickly sedates him with a syringe.
- - - -
Bayley and Dakota walking to the 2017 Blue Jeep Cherokee.
Bayley: That was a close one...
Dakota: Sure was, and I am so hungry... wanna get some supper? Are you thinking what I am thinking?
Bayley: ...Pizza subs?
Dakota: OH! YEEEEEAH!!! But this time... I'll drive...
They both laugh and high five each other as Bayley begins rubbing her hands together in hunger. Dakota gets in the driver's seat. One Toke Over The Line begins to play on the radio as they slowly back up and drive away. As they do, something fleshy flies off the hood of the jeep. The falls in the air, kind of like the feather from Forrest Gump. It slowly and softly falls to the parking lot... it is a bloody skin human face.
Whoops! The End.
