So rude

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Cory
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So rude

Post by Cory »

EBWF.net Exclusive

The cameras opened up to a familiar black cowboy hat, resting on the head of EBWF administrator Jim Ross. He nodded politely at the camera, sitting down in a leather seat. He brought an EBWF microphone to his mouth.

Jim Ross: Howdy folks, this week we're looking forward to the annual pay-per-view event Christmas Eve of Destruction, and my guest here tonight is scheduled to defend his EBWF Gateway Championship against his tag team partner, Edge. Please welcome Randy Orton.

The camera zoomed out to show Randy Orton, sitting down in a chair that was opposite JR. The Gateway championship was draped over his shoulder. He nodded in JR's direction.

Randy Orton: Thanks for having me. Amazing how important I am that they brought you from the Corporate office to conduct an interview.

Jim Ross: Or it could be that no one else wants to work with you.

Randy Orton: I don't think you really believe that, JR.

Jim Ross: Be that as it may, this week you'll be defending your Gateway Championship against your friend and tag team partner, Edge. The match is a TLC match, a match that clearly tilts the advantage towards your opponent. What's your mentality going into this match?

Randy Orton: Well first, let me say this. There's a bunch of shit that's going to blow up in this match, so it's not entirely the classic match from the early aughts that everyone remembers.

Jim Ross: I'm going to have to ask you to clean up the language, Randy.

Randy Orton: No guarantees. As you may know, my GAF meter has been at critical low levels recently. For example, you and the rest of the decision makers upstairs keep trying to make Randy Orton vs. Edge happen because you have literally nothing else going on. Especially since you have a pasty nerd like Aiden English as your champion.

Jim Ross: It is unfathomable why no one wants to work with you from an interviewing standpoint.

Randy Orton: Come on, JR. Don't be like that. You know as well as I do that Edge vs. Randy Orton is a "break glass in case of emergency" button that the company is pressing because it needs people to buy this PPV event. Now don't get me wrong, Edge and I are going to go out there and give you your money's worth. If I feel like it. But let's not pretend like this is a match that had a lot of chance for us to develop. Edge is facing me in the Gateway Championship because he got a participation award in his match that should have made him the EBWF World Champion. So now, we're going to go out there and explode things and kill ourselves because the EBWF board of directors wants to pop a nice juicy buyrate for Wes' favorite PPV event of the year.

Jim Ross: Maybe we should get back on topic.

Randy Orton: Great idea. The reality is I'm going to walk into Christmas Eve of Destruction as the Gateway Champion, and I'm going to walk out of Christmas Eve of Destruction as the Gateway Champion. I know this comes as a shock to you, but Edge and I know how to compartmentalize what happens out in the ring with how we get along in our daily lives. Edge is an Uncle to my daughter and was at my wedding. We're going to be just fine after this match. What happens in the ring at Christmas Eve of Destruction will last just as long as it takes for the physical wounds to heal themselves, and then I promise we will continue on, driving people like you and Wes Ikeda absolutely crazy.

Jim Ross: Tangentially related, what are your thoughts on your mystery assailant? We haven't seen any updates on this since your last match, and one has to imagine the specter of that looms large in a match that is this violent.

Randy Orton: I couldn't tell you, JR. What I can say is that if that jackwagon decides to black out the lights and make a move, he'll be contending with two former World Champs in the ring, not just one. Because unlike the rest of the jamokes in the EBWF, the guy I'll be in the ring with doesn't take this match too seriously and will have my back. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go get ready for my match. I'm sure you have to go tell Wes that you never want to do this again, and next week I'll be interviewing with the janitorial staff.

With that, Randy smirked and stood up, walking off the set with his Gateway title belt. The camera zoomed back in briefly on JR, who took a deep sigh as the camera started to fade to black.

Jim Ross: Randy Orton, ladies and gentlemen.
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