Gronk Make Fire.

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D.J
Posts: 430
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:53 pm

Gronk Make Fire.

Post by D.J »

The scene opened up in a living room. There was just something about this living room that made it feel really really stupid. Possible reasons for this thought include but aren't limited to: 1.) above the rather large fireplace there was the rear end of a deer where the head usually would be. 2.) On the coffee table there was a drink with the coaster on top of the drink rather than underneath it. 3.) The man that walked into the frame was perhaps the world's stupidest. Rob Gronkowski. Rob wore New England Patriots Footie Pajamas. He had a goofy look on his face. He moved the coaster and took a sip of the drink. He put the coaster back on top of the drink.

Gronk: Hi everyone- I'm Gronk- look.

Gronk turned around- on the back of his pajamas- it read "Gronk." Surprisingly Rob was 1 for 1 on the promo.

Gronk: With the inbreak of Coven-18 hitting the United America States- we have all been in quarter-teen.. so I have been kicking it Gronk style in the Gronk pad. We've been doing So-Cal distance. Which is going all the way with chicks in Southern California.. yeahhh bro!

Well that whole being correct on things streak didn't last very long. Gronk flashed a hang ten sign and stuck his tougne out. He's the worst.

Gronk: One thing I have noticed though is that it's getting a little chilly in here- so Gronk make fire.

The camera flashed to the fireplace. There was several blocks of wood that already inhabited the fireplace. Gronk looked at the wood and giggled.

Gronk: Wood.

Gronk laughed at the word "wood" like an 11 year old at a Sex Ed class. When he finally composed himself. He pulled out a bottle of gasoline from a cabinet in his living room. He once again started to laugh.

Gronk: Gas.

More uncontrollable laughter. God he sucks.

Gronk proceeded to pour gasoline on the wood. A lot of it. He emptied the entire bottle. He then proceeded to walk into the fireplace. This couldn't be happening right? He then went into his pockets.. please don't tell me he's going to pull out.. yep.. he did.. Gronk pulled out a book of matches. Predictably with someone who has zero brain cells- Gronk lit the match in his fireplace. Immediately the wood and Gronk himself were totally and completely engulfed in flames. Gronk jumped and clapped as his brain was perhaps too stupid and moronic to grasp that he was burning alive. He began to sing.

Gronk: Gronk- Gronk- Gronk is on fire- I don't need no water- let me motherfuckin burnnn.. burnn mothafucka.. burnn..

After several beats Gronk quite literally burned alive right on camera. He was reduced to a pile of decaying flesh that then turned into perhaps the world's most dopey- try hard- pile of ashes. Several more beats passed when Ron Simmons entered the frame. He looked at the pile of Ashses that used to be Gronk. He kicked it which spread the ashes amongst the floor of the fireplace. He looked to his right and saw a burned hand with 3 mangled superbowl rings on it. He finally put together what had happened. He shook his head.

Ron Simmons: DAMN!

The scene faded to black.
THE MIZ

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