Wu-Tang Clan

[D.J]

They had become the nastiest couple in the EBWF and not from a looks perspective. Mickie and Mike Mizanin AKA The Miz had shown in recent weeks that they would stop at literally nothing to get ahead in the company. The Mizanin's had turned their back on anyone and everyone they were ever close to in the EBWF, and seemed on a crash course to regain some power both in the Men's and Women's divisions inside the ring. Mickie had already moved past Charlotte Flair and was tabbed to take on EBWF Great Natalya in the second round. While Miz had the formidable task of a triple threat match that included Edge and Grado. If they were to move on, they would both have to overcome some of the companies top stars. It was clear though, that in this moment of time, they weren't scared of anyone that they could come across, and they seemed hell bent on hurting anyone who tried to stand in their way.

The scene opened up at an outdoor brewery in Oregon. There were people scattered among seating arrangements, and everyone seemed to be enjoying their day. It was sunny out and very few clouds donned the sky, a perfect day for a beer and relaxation. The camera panned around until it picked up it's subjects- Mickie Mizanin and The Miz were sitting across from each other at table, both enjoying an adult beverage. Miz wore a bright white shirt, pink shorts, sunglasses and white boat shoes. Mickie wore a pair of short baby blue shorts and a white tanktop. After a sip of beer, Miz slammed his fist on the table. Mickie looked startled at first, and awaited whatever the hell was the matter with Miz.

The Miz: Honestly, this is NOT the beer I asked for. I don't understand how hard people's job is here. I say the beer I want- they pour it- I drink it. It's an easy god damn concept, I don't get why everyone just sucks at the simple tasks that they are asked to do because of what a screw up they are. I'm not a screw up, I'm the most famous wrestler in the history of famous wrestlers. I'm constantly ON- I'm go go go all the time. If I'm not doing one appearance I'm doing this interview, or that signing, or winning this match, or that title. There's a lot expected of me all the time, and for the last 8 years- I have been the star among stars- the greatest of the great- the best wrestler in the history of forever in the EBWF. So when I have a day that I can get away, a day that I can rest and relax with my beautiful wife- I expect to get the friggin beer I asked for.

Mickie Mizanin: That bitch gave you the wrong beer?

The Miz looked a little annoyed.

The Miz: Yes Mickie- did you not just hear my rant there?

Mickie Mizanin: I'm sorry I couldn't even focus on what you're saying, you're just so hot when you're angry.

The Miz smirked.

The Miz: And when I'm any other emotion.

Mickie Mizanin: Big facts.

The Miz: Anyway, I'm going to go yell at that girl- this is just unacceptable.

Mickie Mizanin: No, no- allow me.

Mickie got up from her seat and tracked down one of the female employees of the brewery.

Employee (Julie): Can I help you?

Mickie looked at Miz, and then back at the employee.

Mickie Mizanin: Actually you can, my husband ordered a beer from you all, and you gave him the wrong kind.

Employee (Julie): Oh my god, I am so sorry, let me get you ano..

Mickie Mizanin: No I don't want your sorry's okay?

Mickie read the girls name tag.

Mickie Mizanin: Julie is it? I want you to take your skinny, little, lazy, not paying attention ass, back behind the counter and get him the beer he asked for.. it was THAT one numb nuts.. do it.. do it now!

The Employee looked flustered.

Employee (Julie): Of course.

She poured the beer.

Mickie Mizanin: I swear every Julie I meet is just the stupidest bitch on earth.

Employee (Julie): I'm very sorry.

Mickie Mizanin: You damn right you are.

Mickie took the beer from poor Julie and walked back to her table and handed it to Miz. He took a sip.

The Miz: There- now that's more like it.

Mickie Mizanin: Yeah I straightened Julie over there out. I don't think she likes me very much.

The camera panned to Julie who was pouting and clearly telling a co worker about how rude Mickie was- classic Julie.

The Miz seemed to calm in this moment.

The Miz: Yeah who cares, it's not our fault she's an idiot. That's just classic every situation in this stupid world and in our company in particular. Why the hell am I supposed to apologize for beating the hell out of people and not caring about what is or isn't politically correct, when I'm just so god damn superior to everyone. Oh Edge, you mean we were friends and now we're not friends anymore because I attacked you and Randy? Oh I think I'll go cry myself a river of tears and do the back stroke in them.. except I won't. I don't give a shit if you thought we were friends, we weren't. Don't you know me at all Edge... Adam.. don't you realize that I realized that if I wanted to get ahead, to get opportunities, to get my chance to shine in this "In Crowd" world of EBWF that all I had to do was infiltrate the cool kids club? Huh? Like Wes, you, Chris, Randy, obviously you wanted me to come out with you guys. I'm the best at partying, just like I'm the best at wrestling. Can you imagine those nights without me? Holy shit. Edge taking 3 days to pick the food out of his 800 teeth after dinner, Randy losing an hour of the night trying to figure out the perfect arm angle for his ridiculous pose, Chris telling himself that his gut will go away the next time he has a bowel movement, Wes- Wes- well I don't know what Wes would be doing.. it's Wes.. whatever the hell he feels like.. but whatever he feels like never makes anything better or more interesting. They needed me, just like this company has needed me. Since I've been here so many guys have come in and out of this company, some have lasted a week, some a month, some a year or two, but at some point they all fizzle out... and if they don't fizzle out.. they leave and come back.. and then leave and come back.. and then leave and come back. I'm the friggin constant. I've managed to reinvent myself, find new ways to win, find new ways to get myself to the top of the mountain. Time and time again I've proven that I'm not only cut out for this business.. but that I am this business. Edge is just an example of a guy who I can't stand, because he's the guy that comes back and immediately everyone is supposed to give a shit again. He pops his stupid face back up for King of the Ring's or rumbles.. or Crest commercials.. but like before I get myself in a tizzy, I relax.. because I know he's going to saunter off again in a month or two. Edge while you're here cupcake.. you're not winning shit.. you're not winning King of the Ring.. and you're not winning this match.. you wanna know how I know, princess? Because I'm winning this match.. and I'm winning this whole god damn tournament.

The Miz looked almost deranged in this moment.

The Miz: I'm not your friend, and the fact that you were all shocked and butt hurt about me laying waste to you, and Mickie doing the same to that bimbo Trish- shows how weak, pathetic, and quite frankly stupid you really are. The second you think I'm a nice guy, remind yourself that I most fucking certainly am not. I will smile in your face, and stick the knive right between your ball-sack bro. I really could care less what you or anyone else feels about the way I do things. There's one thing you can't argue with, and that's my success. I love how everyone was jibber jabbering when I lost a couple of matches after our wedding. Like it wasn't a ploy by me, to lull everyone in to thinking that this new married Miz was going to somehow be soft. I'm the hardest, toughest, son of a bitch that has every step foot in an EBWF ring, and if you are ever thinking that it's any other way, well then you're probably about to step into the booby trap that's right in front of your dumb god damn face.

Mickie took a sip of her beer.

Mickie Mizanin: This was the right beer!

Miz smirked.

The Miz: It's just as simple as this. Edge is the ring leader of a group of circus clowns. A group of circus clowns that watched me use them all the way to stardom and fame in the EBWF. I was released Mickie.. released.. back in 2012. Then I was reinstated.. do you know how I was reinstated? Wes. Then slowly but surely, I showed that I was this changed man. That I could be this nice guy. This guy who could smile and manipulate fans to cheering for him one second, and then on the drop of a dime showing them why they were stupid to trust me. It's the same with these guys in real life.. yeah I'm talking outside the ring, Adam. What everyone saw a couple weeks back was not EBWF wrestling, it was Mike Mizanin showing Adam Copeland, that I do not, have not, and WILL NOT ever like him. I hate him because there's some people out there who think that his legacy, his greatness, his ability exceeds mine. I hate him because in his clouded little delusional attention starved head, he thinks that even when he's not around that he's entitled to the spotlight that ONLY I'VE EARNED. I resent Adam, and though I've bought him shots and told him all the "I'm so glad we became boys" in the world.. that he ate up.. oh my god did he eat that shit up. All the "you know Mike, I don't care what anyone says bro.. you're a good shit." No... no Adam... I'm not.. I'm a bad shit.. the baddest shit.. and at Warfare I'm going to SHIT on you and your hopes and dreams of getting revenge on me for what I did to you. I'm going to shit on this idea that you're going to beat me, and then be able to be the knight in shining armor back at the popular table, that you got retribution for you and your stupid little group of the fakest most ridiculous people on earth.

The Miz took another sip of beer.

The Miz: Nikki Orton- talking to you babe- hate you. Adam- hate you. Randy- hate you. Wes- absolutely hate you. No acting- no gimmick- thanks for bringing me back, thanks for giving me the chance to show that I'm the best there is. Thanks for watching me carry this company year after year, through hiatuses of other "top guys" through John Cena having a fucking meltdown and falling off the face of the earth. Through Brian Kendrick, Sami Zayn, Cody Rhodes, skinny Chris Jericho, fat Chris Jericho, fatter Chris Jericho, AJ Styles, you name the guy, I've been here through them... me.. I'm still here. Soft Miz? Married Miz? Yeah I married literally the best girl on planet earth, the realest girl on planet earth, and all it made me realize is how I have no room for the phony people who don't appreciate everything THAT I'VE DONE.. FOR THEM.. and THIS COMPANY. This company wouldn't even still be a thing without The Miz- EBWF would be floating in a river of shit right now, if it wasn't for my consistency. I'm the backbone of the EBWF- NOT EDGE. NOT RANDY. NOT CHRIS. ME. MIKE. So Edge, ADAM, I'm not just going to beat you on Monday- I'm going to fucking destroy you. I'm going to end you, because you won't just end yourself like you should have a long time ago. You pause yourself, and then you hit play at all the wrong times to try and stand in my way. Like right now for instance. Edge I'm going to pin YOU to win this match.. not the other jamoak who I've never even heard of that's in the match with us.. you. I'm going to pin you, and then I might even just kick the shit out of you backstage just for fun after the fact. I might not even make it to Monday, I might find you before, and just beat you within an inch of your life, any and every opportunity that I can.

Mickie nodded.

Mickie Mizanin: He deserves it.

The way Mickie said that line, it was clear that she was so deep in love with Mike. She would have followed him into a fire, he had lost his mind, and she lost hers on purpose to be with him.

The Miz: He does deserve it, it goes beyond wrestling, he deserves it just for who he is. He deserves it for so many reasons, but even if he was just some nobody on the street, which I plan to make him, it wouldn't even matter- I don't care who it is- it's a bonus that it's someone I absolutely despise that I open this tournament with. It didn't have to be, because I just am not discriminating right now, the whole entire EBWF is in SO MUCH TROUBLE- and they may smirk that off or not believe me but when I leave Edge and whoever the hell this other guy is, lying in a pool of their own blood on Warfare- they will DEFINITELY know what the deal is. Sometimes people don't know that they are about to walk into the hornet's nest until they get stung, and that is exactly what is about to happen to these guys. I can't sit by for even one more second of Edge being around here, I can't sit by for one more second of this "Edge is a legend" rhetoric. Edge is over- he's finished- he's someone that Wes and Chris throw in front of the fans to sell tickets hoping that they might get to see him pull at his hair like a lunatic and spear somebody. Little does Edge know that the only lunatic in the EBWF right now is me.. and people like EDGE drove me to being this way. I know I'm great- I know I'm the wrestler that a scientist would come up with in a laboratory- I know that there's never been anyone better- I KNOW ALL OF THAT. I don't want to be a loose cannon, I'd love to act normal, but how can I not be a loose cannon, how can I act normal when guys like Edge continued to be rolled in front of my face and presented to be as a threat. How can I, someone who's so extraordinary, be insulted constantly by being presented with the burden of facing someone so ordinary, who is portrayed as extraordinary, and NOT go absolutely insane. I'm gone Mickie, I know it, we both know it, and I've just had it with the EBWF and everyone in it. People like Edge have driven me to this point where I'm not going to compete with guys anymore, I'm going to maim them. I'm going to absolutely destroy them and their entire world- until there's nobody freaking left but me. That's the best version of the EBWF I can think of, because then the only person left to face The Miz- would be The Miz- that's the only guy worthy anyway.

Mickie Mizanin took a sip of beer.

Mickie Mizanin: That's a match I'd watch.

She played with her hair and flashed an almost maniacal smile.

The Miz: Then we got this other guy- Grado? Grate-O.. Fido? Like the only Grado I've heard of is the area I used to swim through in the playboy mansion, before me and you got serious babe.

Mickie Mizanin: I think that's gratto- but wait what? You went to the Playboy Mansion without me!?

The Miz: I'm sorry- I went for the architecture.

This was the first light moment out of the Miz. He took another sip of beer. Mickie smiled at Miz' joke.

The Miz: Regardless- who is this guy? Like really? It's not a joke.. I want to know who he is..

Mickie Mizanin: I think he's some fat Scottish guy.

The Miz: This is what I don't get. You got Edge and I in the first round of this tournament, like as much as I hate him, those are two of the biggest names in this entire company. Then you throw in Grado. Like what did Wes and Chris do, pick names out of a hat on facebook live or something? It's freaking ridiculous... EDGE.... MIZ... Grado.... HORSE TEETH.. MONEY MAKER.. FAT SCOTTISH GUY. It's nuts- and no Grado.. not honey roasted you fat piece of shit. I just mean it's crazy you're in this match with me.. it's even crazy you're in this match with Edge- and as I've already been extremely clear about.. I think Edge fucking sucks. One thing I know for sure about Grado.. is that if he's excited to be in this match, if he's happy to be there as of right now, come Warfare he most certainly WILL. NOT. BE. I can't wait until freaking Grado tries to get in the way of me dismantling Adam Copeland, like I may beat the hell out of Grado with Edge's limp, overrated body. Grado.. jesus christ.. really? GRADO? Grado if you win this match I will literally lick peanut butter out of your fat belly button. I don't even know what to say about this guy.. like literally.. Grado. I haven't been this dumbfounded by an opponent since I destroyed Glacier.

Mickie Mizanin: I remember that, that was cold.

The Miz smiled.

The Miz: Memories. Anyways- Warfare is going to be a night to remember for us. It's going to be a night that we finally get to settle so many scores, and show that it's just me and you Mickie.. me and you against the whole freaking world that is the EBWF. I get to finally finish the fraud that is Edge.. and you get to face Mrs. Wes. I honestly can't think of a better night.

Mickie took two sips of beer and finished it.

Mickie Mizanin: Oh my god, like first Charlotte Flair two weeks ago. I ended that little skanks tea party real quick, and now I got another daddy's girl... well.. I guess ex daddy's girl.

Mickie laughed like a psycho. The Miz did as well.

The Miz: It's funny because he's dead.

Mickie Mizanin: I know!

The two shared a left again, what the fuck is wrong with them?

Mickie Mizanin: Another little princess who was handed their golden ticket to this business without having to work for a damn thing. OH THE HART DUNGEON.. OHHHH.. I'm sure Nattie was off drawing pictures of cats while everyone else trained in the ring. You want to know why I'm so good, Nattie? It's because I've earned it, I've worked my ass off every step of the way to get to the level that I'm at. I didn't just put down my hello kitty lunch box one day and decide to join the family business.. and as if her families lineage wasn't enough of an unfair advantage.. then she goes and marries the friggin boss. Like who's dick do I gotta suck to get a career around here?

The Miz smiled knowingly.

Mickie Mizanin: Oh babe, I would do you if you were a custodian with that face.

The Miz: That was beautiful, go on.

Mickie Mizanin: I mean it's so obivous that this girl is just another worthless, not even good looking, pig of a female that they just try and sell as this like chip off the old block. Even though her dead dad looked like he ate all those chips off all the blocks when he passed.

The Miz laughed almost choking on his beer.

The Miz: Because he was fat.

Mickie Mizanin: Right exactly.. really fat. So because Nat's dad got her in this business, Wes' nads kept her here, now I have to be the one to try and make her even remotely entertaining? I can see her right now listening to me.. with that stupid look on her face where she's trying not to cry and trying to force a fake smile.. with her stupid little cat ears on her head or something. She's like an 11 year old in a frumpy 40 year olds body. I want you to cry Nattie- I want you to feel pain as I make fun of you and your ridiculous family. I want you to suffer, because that's what all the other girls have to do, who never get a chance in the EBWF because of people like you who don't deserve one, taking their shot from them. I'm going to save them though, I'm going to open the door for some new girls to come in here and show what they can do, because I'm going to dispose of the leech that is Natalya. They say cats have nine lives, but you're not really a cat.. you have one life.. and if you try to stop me at Warfare.. I might just go ahead and take it. I'll be like a ring post to Owen Hart.

The Miz laughed.

The Miz: It's funny because.. he's dead too.. and that's how he died..

Miz finished his beer- his hair somehow had gotten messed up throughout this segment. Very un-Miz like- but this was obviously no ordinary time for the Miz and his Mrs.

Mickie Mizanin: I'm going to move on in this tournament- and I'm going to win it. Then I'll be able to sit and watch all the bitches in the back, whine and bitch behind my back about how I'm this evil mean girl. Boo frickity hoo.. we are done waiting for things to come to us.. we're going to start taking everything that we want.. and right now what I want is to take Natalya's hair and rip it off strand by strand and then out of it, build a blonde haired canoe.. and then put nattie in the canoe.. and send her down that river of shit you were talking about earlier babe.

The Miz: She'd easily sink the canoe. Hair is not that sturdy.

Mickie Mizanin: So then she'd drown.. I guess that's fine too.

The Miz: More than fine.

Mickie's next words were in a mocking tone.

Mickie Mizanin: They're so morbid.. they're so evil.. they're so nasty.. no.. we're just saying what everyone else thinks. Nobody likes these people. Nobody likes Edge.. nobody likes Nattie.. nobody likes the people that have hogged the spotlight and don't have any intention of giving it up, as they all bask in each others self importance, at the wine and cheese parties I imagine they have.

The Miz: More like keggers surprisingly, but with a wine and cheese type vibe of smugness.

Mickie Mizanin: REGARDLESS. Nobody wants Natalya to do one more good thing in this business. Nobody. So I Mickie Mizanin, the future Queen of the Ring, will see to it that I am the one PERSONALLY responsible for ending this bitches reign of terror. I'm not going to stand by and live in a world where this cornball muffin surprise- gets to feel important in a business that she was dropped into. Warfare marks the END of NATTIE.

The Miz finished his beer.

The Miz: It marks the end of Edge and Nattie- and it marks the never had have and never will have the beginning of that Grado person. It marks the beginning of something else as well, and that is an era of dominance from the Mizanin Family. An era where a man and his wife will inflict damage simultaneously to both the Men's and Women's division in a way that has never been seen before, and will never be seen again. You can hate us all you want, but you won't beat us, and if you try you won't be around to talk about it after. When I slam Edge's face into the mat face first at Warfare, and you kick the kitty litter out of Natalya.. every single person in this company.. no matter HOW STUPID they are, and that's saying a lot, will know that the Mizanin's much like the Wu Tang Clan.. are nothing to fuck with.

BECAUSE I"M THE MIZ

AND SHE'S MY MRS.

and we're...

They said the last word together. In a way that would go right through the skin of so many co-workers.

The Miz and Mickie Mizanin: Awesome!

The Miz and Mickie got up to go get another beer from the innocent, yet incompetent- Julie.