He lost to WHO?!

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Cory
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He lost to WHO?!

Post by Cory »

A rotating 3D rendering of the Randy News Network logo flashed in the center of the screen, fading to what could quite possibly be the most expensive card table in wrestling history. Sitting behind the table was the host of today's show, Randy Orton himself. With a microphone attached to a stand in front of him, he neatly folded his hands on the table. To his left were the EBWF Tag Team Championship belt and the Gateway Championship belt. Randy exhaled deeply as his theme music faded.

Randy Orton: Welcome to another episode of RNN, the Randy News Network. You know, I thought I was done with these since I made amends with Renee Young, but as it turns out the EBWF execs really enjoy these, so I'm back at this table, entertaining the masses. You're welcome.

Randy idly tapped his fingers on his prized possession, the Gateway Championship belt.

Randy Orton: In case you weren't aware of this news, I am still the Gateway Champion, and soon to be longest reigning tag team champions once again.

He nervously scratched the back of his neck.

Randy Orton: ... in only like 700 more days. But that doesn't matter. Tonight my Gateway Championship is not on the line. Tonight the Tag Team Championship isn't on the line. No, what I'm fighting for tonight is to continue my path to my third reign as King... of the Ring. And my opponent tonight is... C. M. Punk.

Randy smirked to himself as he grabbed a stack of papers that were resting on the table and leafed through them idly.

Randy Orton: So I'm checking my notes, and I wanted to make sure I have a few things correct before I talk about my opponent. Just so I'm clear, the last time we saw CM Punk in any meaningful match, he lost to, oh what's his name.

Randy snapped his fingers a couple times, desperately trying to recall the name.

Randy Orton: Damn man, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Randy's brow was furrowed in concentration, until a sudden look of joyous recollection washed over his features.

Randy Orton: That's riiiiiight. It was Blaine Ikeda. The only Ikeda that's legally permitted to get in the ring. Well, I guess that's not entirely correct since Wes can still technically get in the ring. OK, the only Ikeda that has received proper wrestling training that doesn't involve jumping off scaffolds.

Randy shook his head with a smirk.

Randy Orton: The best thing about all of this is the fact that Blaine Ikeda beat CM Punk, and Punk seriously believes that he has a shot of beating me. Breaking news, Punk. You want to know why I know that Blaine Ikeda has had semi-decent wrestling training unlike his dumb Dad?

He grinned.

Randy Orton: Because I trained him. And he kicked your ass. What chance do you have against me? It's simple syllogism, Punk. Blaine Ikeda made you look like a fool, and I trained Blaine. Therefore...

Randy gestured towards the camera.

Randy Orton: You're a smart guy, I'm sure you can figure it out. I guess I have to be thankful that you're not the Miz again, so you've got that going for you. In other news, a lot of people are asking what might happen if Randy Orton and Edge both win in their King of the Ring matches tonight. And to those people I say, thanks for paying attention to the show. So WHEN Edge and I win out matches, we will no doubt have to face each other in the semi-finals of this tournament. Especially considering that Edge and myself have... an unorthodox history when it comes to facing each other. You see Edge and I have never allowed our friendship to get in the way of our goals. And likewise, we've never let our goals get in the way of our friendship. We will do what we need to do when the time comes. Unfortunately for CM Punk, that's a conversation for another day. The focus now is on putting this pretentious Chicago garbage out of the King of the Ring tournament. I mean, how hard can it be? He got beat by an Ikeda.

Randy chuckled to himself as the RNN logo flashed in the corner of the screen and the scene faded to black.
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