Answering The Call

[Cory]

A tentative hand was shown hovering above the placard that denoted Rated RKO’s locker room. It knocked, and the camera zoomed out to reveal Charly Caruso, standing expectantly, if not a little nervously. After all, one never knew the kind of mood EBWF’s reigning tag team champions might be in. It didn’t take long for Charly to get the message though when the door was pulled open and Edge stepped out. Randy Orton followed, pulling the door closed behind him.

Edge: What. a. surprise.

Charly Caruso: Excuse me, Edge, Randy…

Edge: What. a. surprise. No really. I mean it. Pretty much what I said when I got my copy of tonight’s card. And now here you are, wanting to talk with Rated RKO because we’re in the main event of the go home show before the Royal Rumble.

Charly Caruso: Randy, would you say that your actions in the last couple of weeks have created the opportunity for this matchup here tonight?

Edge: Opportunity? Opportunity for who? Oh, I’m sorry… she was asking you, Randy.

Edge rolled his eyes, obviously bemused at the notion that he had to wrestle in a tag team match simply because Randy was now the number one contender for the EBWF World Championship.

Randy Orton: My actions?

Charly Caruso: Yes, when you interrupted the world title match at Christmas Eve of Destruction, and hit the Rock in the head with…

Edge: He KNOWS what he did, Charly.

Randy smirked.

Randy Orton: Let's be honest, Chuck. This match was going to happen regardless of what I did, so I figured I'd have a little fun while we're waiting for the Royal Rumble. We all know the people making decisions around here are about as unoriginal as it gets, so throwing those two in a match with us was inevitable.

Edge: Oh, how the awesome have fallen, huh, Mike?

It was Edge’s turn to smirk.

Edge: Randy and I have been at this for a long time. I mean, I’d love a world title opportunity, but it’s not all together weird for me to tag with my tag team partner, co-champion, ahead of his world title opportunity. You on the other hand are a former world champion, and what? Just all around nice fuckin’ guy, playing sidekick to The Rock?

Charly Caruso: Randy…

Edge: Oh, my God.

Edge looked at Randy who shrugged.

Edge: 15 years of this shit.

Randy Orton: Like my sidekick here said. A couple years back, it was me backing up the World Champion Edge. Before that, he had my back. There's no issue with that kind of thing. So for those of you hoping for the gripping story of "tension" between he and I? Don't hold your breath. These two dorks, though?

Edge: Yeah, the whole locker room knows that we’re both far too lazy, and way too comfortable to even care about facing each other at this point in our careers. I, however, am 100% certain, bet the farm, that Dwayne doesn’t even LIKE Mike.

Randy Orton: No one does.

Edge: How did this even happen? Why did it even happen? Does The Rock have no friends? Isn’t there a literal parade of Samoan Cousins he can call on at a moment’s notice?

Randy Orton: Golf caddies aren't cheap, buddy.

Charly Caruso: Randy…

Edge: I’m literally. Right. Here.

Charly Caruso: I want to go back to your point about the people making decisions around here. Why now? Why after a historically long singles title reign are you cashing in the Gateway Championship for a World Title Opportunity? And what do you have to say about the information being circulated that the decision was made solely because Wes Ikeda, your brother-in-law, has a beef with Aiden English.

Edge did not react. His face remained stoic as he deadpanned to Randy.

Edge: Randy! We’re being puppeteered by Wes? You didn’t tell me sooner!? I am outraged. This is an outrage!

Randy leaned down and lowered himself so that he was very close to the microphone. He looked Charly dead in the eye with the most serious look he'd ever given.

Randy Orton: Who the hell is Aiden English?

Edge’s face broke, and he laughed out loud.

Charly Caruso: Are you deflecting with humor to avoid answering that question?

Edge threw his hands up in surrender.

Edge: She got us, Randy. Dead to rights. Not answering the Wes Ikeda question makes it true.

Randy Orton: Wes Ikeda may be my brother-in-law, but that doesn't make him any less of an idiot, Chuck.

Edge: Toddle on down the hallway to his office, stick this microphone in his face, and I’m damn sure that he will tell you that he would rather have a life long case of incurable hemorrhoids than tolerate his favorite asshole brother-in-law as EBWF World Champion.

Randy Orton: Which is why it's going to be all the sweeter when I win.

Edge nodded.

Edge: No one wants Randy Orton to be the world champion. Not Paul Heyman, not Chris Jericho, not Wes. Why do you think no one approached him about cashing in? Why do you think he waited so long? Randy Orton as world champion means that the standards go up just that much higher. Everybody has to work just that much harder. Do you think Wes Ikeda works hard? No, he’s happy with his little twenty year status quo he has going on, and if Randy Orton is World Champion he might actually have to find some God damn competition around here.

Randy Orton: I've been saying it for years. People get infuriated because I show up, I don't give a damn about anyone besides the guy to my left, and I constantly look like I'm mailing it in. And they're probably right about that. But I keep beating the people they put in front of me. I keep pissing people off because I barely do the minimum and no one can touch me. The last several years of my career have essentially amounted to one long troll of the EBWF administration team. And I'm going to pull off the ultimate troll at the Royal Rumble when I take the World Championship off their aging cash cow.

Edge: The Rock is going to see the beginning of the end of EBWF career tonight. It’s an L The Miz shouldn’t have to take, but hey, that’s what he gets for sticking his nose in our business.

Charly Caruso: Do you think…

Edge cut her off and looked toward Randy.

Edge: Is she about to ask me a question?

Randy pointed his eyes at Charly as if to tell her to continue.

Charly Caruso: Edge, do you think that Randy has been doing the bare minimum.

Edge cleared his throat.

Edge: I think that Randy is playing chess while everyone else, including you, is playing checkers. Speaking of…

Edge turned to Randy.

Edge: Are you like, totally sure? If you win next week, won’t you have to co-host the charity checkers tournament Wrestlemania week, or whatever the shit it is that the World Champion has to do for 5 days straight?

Randy Orton: Oh I'm not doing any of that stuff. What's Wes gonna do? Fire me? I'll be World Champion and he's too stupid to figure out a plan B.

Edge looked at Charly.

Edge: Basically, I’m going to be signing autographs at Access for 6 hours straight. Is COVID still a thing?

Randy Orton: Oh I'm pretty sure they fixed that already.

Edge: Oh, perfect! So what you’re saying is that you’re going to win the world championship. Refuse to participate in Wrestlemania week activities, including media promotions, until Nicole threatens to take our Call of Duty away?

Randy was silent for a moment.

Randy Orton: Damn it.

Edge: Take note, Chuck! Tonight, Rated RKO heads to the ring and defeats The Rock, who is partnering with The Miz for some reason, even though we have not actually established a friendship or reason why The Miz would do that. Next week, I enter the Royal Rumble, and WIN! Randy Orton defeats the Rock for the EBWF World Championship. Together, RATED RKO owns Wrestlemania Week by day, plays EPIC Call of Duty by night. And at Wrestlemania 20…. Orton vs Edge for the EBWF World Championship.

Charly Caruso: That sounds like… The Greatest Wrestling Match of All Time.

Edge: NO!

Charly was startled.

Edge: You know what you did.

Randy solemnly looked at Caruso, shook his head and clicked his tongue. With that, the tag team champions walked off the set, leaving Charly alone to wrap up as the scene faded.