OOC: Tried to have a bit of fun with this one, hope you enjoy it! Good luck, Matt and Justin :)
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The scene opened in Paul London's lab, where for once, the Intrepid Traveller wasn't working. He was sat drinking a Diet Coke, and reading one of his favourite books – "The Biggest Secret" by David Icke. London was laughing to himself as he read.
Paul London: I swear, I have met so many "interesting" people on my travels, but none of them as anywhere near as funny as this guy. He cracks me up! I can't believe there are actually people who don't realise his books are satire.
As London carried on reading, his assistant Steve Blackman entered the lab. London put down his book, looked up at Blackman and smiled.
Paul London: Ah, Steven!
Blackman remained as stoic as ever.
Steve Blackman: I guess the Royal Rumble didn't turn out the way you wanted.
Paul London: Oh but Steven, it's not about what I want... it's about what is best for the future, remember? The events of January 31st have already altered things for the better. I challenged JB-10 to make an impression, and he's done exactly that. He's earned himself an EBWF contract, and now I have a tag team partner that isn't going to eat me if I piss him off. Who knows, maybe we'll be able to help revive interest in EBWF's almost non-existent tag division...
Steve Blackman: Funny you should mention this. I've just been informed that you and Jack will be teaming up against Finn Balor and Raven on Warfare.
Paul London: Jack? Oh, of course... his back story. Wes Ikeda wouldn't have signed JB-10 to a contract if he knew I'd created him in a lab... although even if he knew the truth, Jungle Boy wouldn't be the strangest superstar to ever be under contract. It's amazing who or what you can get Wes to sign when he's not paying attention. Anyway, Finn Balor and Raven you say? Talk about strange bedfellows.
Steve Blackman: Well it was revealed last week that Raven is part of the Balor Club, alongside the Guerrillas of Destiny and Finn, of course.
Paul London: Wait, Wes is signing gorillas now? Is he running a zoo?
Blackman sighed, unsure whether or not London was joking.
Steve Blackman: Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa. Haku's sons. Formerly part of New Japan Pro Wrestling, where they were part of the Bullet Club.
Paul London: Oh... of course. Well as long as I don't have to step into the ring with Haku, it's all good. I'd sooner wrestler an actual gorilla than that behemoth! Interesting that Wes signed an actual tag team – brothers no less – but decided to stick Fergal and Scott together instead. Maybe my hope of the tag team division getting a revival is misplaced. But maybe he can be persuaded. I presume this is not a main event match, Steven?
Blackman shook his head.
Steve Blackman: You're opening the show. There's a women's tag match involving Tam Nakano, and Miz is wrestling Roman Reigns in the main event.
Paul London: That reminds me, I must give P-Chan a call, see how he's doing. Opening the show isn't so bad, it gives JB-10 and I a chance to set the standard for the rest of the night. How is his martial-arts training going, Steven? Have you made him a master of the nunchaku yet?
Blackman frowned.
Steve Blackman: Sadly not. He seems more interested in being a high flier... like you.
London grinned.
Paul London: Really? Wow, I'm flattered. Well I guess if Raven wants to go hardcore in this tag match, I'll have to show of my brawler side. You know me, Steven. I'm a fighter.
London mimicked martial arts moves as if to prove his point. Blackman seemed to be trying not to get angry.
Steve Blackman: Yes... of course.
London smirked.
Paul London: I know what you're thinking, Steven. You're thinking that you could beat me in a fight. But you forget I know martial arts that haven't even been invented yet. Also there is no reason whatsoever two people who are as close as we are would ever get into a fight... unless it was over who likes who best! Now come here, give me a hug.
Blackman's eyes widened. After all, human affection was his biggest fear.
Steve Blackman: I can't right now. Luchasaurus needs feeding. Maybe later.
Paul London: You know I'll hold you to that! But yes, please feed the dinosaur before he hurts somebody.
Blackman exited the lab, and London turned on his computer, then recorded a video.
Paul London: Finn Balor and Raven. The Prince of Darkness and Extreme Innovator. The truth is, I admire you both, for very different reasons. Finn, if you'll pardon me being inappropriate... those abs, damn! They are, without a shadow of a doubt, the best abs in wrestling. I work out every day, and even I'm jealous of those abs. As for you, Raven... well you haven't seen your abs in about 40 years, but you're one of the toughest SOBs I've ever stepped in the ring with. The two of you have formed an alliance which could be dangerous, I know that. All you need now is a Hollywood movie star like Maven in your ranks! Or you know, someone who has actually been in a movie and isn't just pretending.
London winked, then continued.
Paul London: Fergal, Scott, on Warfare you get to be a part of history. Because JB... I mean Jungle Boy... and I will be teaming up for the first time ever. You saw at the Royal Rumble how talented Jungle Boy is, and he's been training hard ever since. Apparently, he wants to be just like me! And who can blame him. There can only be one Paul London – cloning myself just wouldn't be right – but in Jungle Boy I have a protégé who is one of the hottest prospects in all of professional wrestling. He's even hotter than your abs, Finn! God luck on Warfare, I really can't wait to show you what Jungle Boy and I are capable of.
London began singing Tarzan Boy by Baltimora as the scene faded.
