Because We Can

[Ashlee]

The scene opened somewhere in the bowels of Raymond James Stadium. Edge was sitting in a nondescript room, the lighting very amateurish looking. He was obviously talking into an iPhone camera. Dressed in a Rated R Superstar t-shirt, the number one contender for the EBWF Championship looked well rested, but troubled.

Edge: Take a wild guess how many interview requests I got this week.

He smirked.

Edge: Oh, plenty of them. And it brought me great pleasure to turn every last one of them down. Because of course you want to talk to me now, ahead of this huge match, after that weird, weird contract signing on Warfare.

Edge cocked an eyebrow.

Edge: Thanks for the bigger paycheck, I guess? Still not quite sure what’s in it for you right now, Paul. And I honestly don’t care, because I think you’re under the mistaken impression that any of us finds this interesting.

Edge shrugged.

Edge: And you’re barking up the wrong tree. You’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to turn Randy Orton into a Paul Heyman guy for a few years now. I know you like things your way, but I’m particularly surprised that you just don’t seem to be getting it. You’re not a dumb man, Paul. So that leaves me to wonder what exactly your end game is, and what it has to do with me and Randy.

He shook his head.

Edge: You’re trying to make yourself the main event of Wrestlemania. Trying to make yourself relevant by attaching yourself to the two hardest working men in EBWF. The two guys who have consistently been showing up, week in and week out, to make this show everything it is. Trying to make Wrestlemania 20 about you and your brand. It’s never going to work, and it’s never going to be about you. Wrestlemania 20 is about EBWF. It’s about the EBWF Universe. It’s about giving this business the match it deserves. It’s about Rated RKO.

Edge chuckled.

Edge: Now, I know what you’re all expecting, and to be honest, if you’ve been a wrestling fan for more than a cup of coffee, I can’t say I blame you for expecting it. You assume that the tag team champions are going to walk into the ring, one of them holding the world championship, and fight for the belt. And the old stories go, it never ends well, and their friendship implodes in a blaze of glory while Mauro Ranallo makes some comment about how there aren’t ever really friends in this business. Rated RKO goes our separate ways and our storied history blows up faster than the dirt sheets can write lies about how we’ve been at each other’s throats for months. You see, the thing is though, Randy and I would like to offer everyone an alternative.

Edge’s solemn nod was pensive.

Edge: There doesn’t have to be bad blood to have a compelling match, and there doesn’t have to be fallout to be entertaining. Randy and I don’t have to hate each other to put on the best match of our lives. Paul Heyman, the EBWF Brass foaming at the mouth to break up the most devastating, monopolizing, unstoppable tag team in the company’s history because no one can beat us? They know they can’t send Cameron Grimes and Ciampa after us. They have Maven and Kane waiting in the wings. They know what they really have is jack shit. So better to see us self destruct. Yeah, the brass doesn’t give us enough credit. But then, they never have. I know the board room collectively shit itself when I won the Royal Rumble and Randy walked out as champion. They don’t know how to book that. They don’ know what the fuck to do with a giant gift, wrapped up, huge bow on top. That’s how short sighted you’ve all been.

He clicked his tongue.

Edge: 20 years and you’re still really bad at this Wes. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re the one behind Heyman’s renewed interest in Randy. Because for you, it isn’t how this ends that interests you, it’s sowing the seeds of doubt. It’s making me doubt my brother. It’s seeing how far your puppets can push this narrative. Is that what you are, Paul? A puppet? Randy and I are crystal clear on how we’re going to play this. There’s always a healthy competition there. We’re always going to want to be the best. But there can only be one World Champion. We know that. We also know that at the end of the day, no matter whose turn it is, there will come a day when we have to hang up these boots, and all we’ll have left is the family we chose. I don’t say that to be sentimental. I say that because none of this is going to go down the way the audience thinks it’s going to go. None of this is going to go down the way the assholes in the back want it to go down.

He leaned forward, a little more intense as he spoke.

Edge: And for Paul Heyman, and whoever is directing Paul Heyman, to think that they’re going to disrupt us somehow….

Edge rolled his eyes.

Edge: Do you not understand that Randy and I are playing 5D Chess, and you all are playing checkers? Do you not understand that Randy and I have forgotten more about this business than all of you know collectively. Do you not understand that the fact that you’re so desperately trying to divide us only incentivizes us to be stronger than ever? The only people separating Rated RKO benefits is the EBWF Brass and the EBWF locker room. Divide and conquer. Together? We get more screen time, get more matches, and make more money. The Rated RKO Merch revenue alone would make the average fans eyes bleed. But sure…we’re going to walk away from all of that because Paul Heyman dangled an opportunity in front of Randy Orton?

He laughed now.

Edge: Randy Orton, who already has it all, and needs Paul Heyman for what exactly? What benefit is it that you provide, Paul? You know some lawyers? You can read? Randy should be offended that you think he’s that dumb. Here’s what Randy and I know. We don’t need this match. Do you really think, on this or any other wrestling program, that we need this match? EBWF needs this match. Aiden English has been in the main event of Wrestlemania the last two years. And the year before that, Wes Ikeda was in the main event with Jimmy Havoc. EBWF needs this main event a lot more than Rated RKO does. Embroider it on a hat, Make EBWF Relevant Again. Ya think anyone remembers Aiden English versus The Miz? People are going to be talking about the main event at Wrestlemania 20 at Wrestlemania 40, and you think by having the old criss cross that’s somehow going to save yourselves from the narrative that Rated RKO played everyone.

He found himself laughing again.

Edge: You’re pissed that we spent all of 2020 telling jokes and breaking records, and holding on to the tag titles because we could. Then one glorious morning in January we woke up, decided we wanted to be this company’s whole fucking deal, and just took it without permission. Because that’s what we do. We take what we want, and you think you can reduce some of the headache if you try to drive a wedge between us. That might have worked on a couple of kids in Stamford in 2007, but it sure as shit isn’t going to work now.

Edge pushed his hair back, and gave the camera an intense look.

Edge: So I want to thank you, Paul, and by extension whoever is pulling your strings, because if anything the last few weeks has proven that this match and Rated RKO… it’s all a threat to you. We’re about to show that we’re going to put on a better match than anything you’ve booked in at least three years. We’re going to keep taking your cash, and we’re going to be the real must-see performers on this show, not because you chose us, but because we fucking can.

He smirked.

Edge: Randy, I’ll see you out there. As for the rest of you, watch and learn, because there isn’t a single one of you who will ever be half as good as this.

Edge raised his hand and blocked out the camera before the feed stopped and the scene faded to black.