Vampire Slayer

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Ben M
Posts: 1125
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:12 pm
Location: UK

Vampire Slayer

Post by Ben M »

OOC: This is, quite possibly, the most ridiculous thing I've ever written. But I hope you enjoy it :) Good luck, AJ!

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It was the middle of the night, and Paul London was lurking outside a house in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Why, you ask? All will be revealed in due course, but let me start by telling you that unlike most people lurking outside a house to which they haven't been invited, Paul's intentions were honourable. Not that you would have known that, if you’d asked the man Paul had brought with him. Billy Kidman, Paul's former tag team partner, was with him, and to say he was unimpressed would be an understatement.

Billy Kidman: I really can't believe you, Paul. You call me out of the blue, tell me you need to see me and it's urgent. The next thing I know, I'm driving four hours from Tampa to pick you up from Miami International Airport, against my better judgement, and then you hijack my freakin car and drag me to Fort Lauderdale? I swear to god I would have called the police if you hadn't thrown my phone out of the car. You better be buying me a new one, by the way. And I expect gas money.

Paul couldn't help but smile. Billy had no idea how easy he was to read... of course, Paul could read most people, having had thousands of years to study the human psyche. But even those with a basic understanding of psychology – or the English language – could have picked up the contradiction in Billy's words. He expected Paul to buy him a new phone and pay for gas. That made it obvious that he had no intention to turn Paul over to the authorities. And why would he? Billy might be angry, but Paul knew he was intrigued. That's why he was here, waiting, instead of trying to make a getaway or calling out for help. Still, Paul wanted to keep him onside, so he reached into his briefcase and pulled out an iPhone 13, which he handed over.

Paul London: Ask and you shall receive, my friend. I bought this for myself, but you can keep it.

Paul was lying about buying the iPhone for himself. He didn't need a phone; he had a microchip in his brain which allowed him to connect with anyone at any time. He knew Billy wouldn't question him, especially since his eyes lit up as soon as he saw the phone.

Billy Kidman: Okay, that's a start. Um... thanks, I guess.

Paul London: I've set the passcode as your birthday. Now unlock it and turn the camera on... I'm going to need you to film this.

Suddenly, Billy seemed unsure again.

Billy Kidman: Film what, Paul?

Paul London: I thought you'd never ask. I'm about to slay a vampire.

Billy laughed. When he saw Paul's face, he laughed again... although this time, it was nervous laughter.

Billy Kidman: You're kidding, right?

Paul London: I wish I was, kid. But it's the only way to save Christian Cage. Allow me to explain. You remember when Christian made his debut in the World Wrestling Federation, I presume?

Billy Kidman: Of course. The Brood. But...

Paul London (interrupting): There's no time for questions, Kidman! Yes, The Brood. They called Christian a vampire, and of course everyone thought it was simply part of a storyline... but it's true. I have consulted the archives, and it turns out Christian Cage is a vampire. Gangrel turned him. He's a clever man, Gangrel. He's been hiding for years as a vampire, pretending it's all a gimmick. And the worst part of it is, he's brainwashed Christian. That poor soul has no idea he's a vampire. He's living two lives. By day, he's an EBWF superstar, but at night, he is doing Gangrel's bidding. This house we're standing outside, it is no ordinary house. It is Gangrel's lair. And by slaying Gangrel, we free Christian. It must be done. For the good of mankind...

Billy Kidman: Mick Foley's involved in this too?

Paul chuckled, but shook his head.

Paul London: There is much I could tell you about the many faces of Foley, kid... but now is not the time. Tonight, I will slay Gangrel, and free Christian's soul. That is why I brought you, Kidman. There are many possibilities in front of us tonight. I hope to success, in which case you will provide proof to the world that vampires do exist. And if I fail... you will be able to show the world that I did my best, and I will become a martyr. Other vampire slayers will rise to the challenge of slaying Gangrel. But either way, you will not come to harm. I will protect you, Kidman. You have my word.

Billy Kidman: You belong in an asylum, Paul. You're going to make me an accessory to murder, and I want no part of that. I'm leaving.

Billy turned to walk away, but as he did so, the door of the house he and Paul were lurking outside opened. There was a blood-red light coming from the house, and Gangrel was stood in the doorway. His eyes were gleaming, and blood was dripping down the sides of his mouth. Though he could scarcely believe it, it was at that moment Billy knew that Paul was telling the truth. He turned on the camera and started filming, standing behind Paul for the protection the Intrepid Traveller had promised him.

Gangrel: Paul! Billy! I've been expecting you. Come in, come in.

Gangrel stepped aside, waiting for Paul and Billy to enter. Before they approached the doorway, Paul turned to Billy.

Paul London (whispering): Stay behind me at all times. If Gangrel overpowers me, run.

Gulping, Billy nodded, then followed Paul into the house. As they entered the house, the door closed behind them. Gangrel was nowhere to be seen. An eerie music echoed throughout the house. Paul reached into his briefcase once more, pulling out a wooden stake, then began to call out.

Paul London (shouting): I know the truth, Gangrel! I know you are a vampire, and I know you have Christian Cage unknowingly recruiting more vampires for your clan. But it ends tonight. I am here to put an end to the Gangrel clan... hiding is only delaying the inevitable!

Suddenly, Gangrel reappeared at the top of the stairs. Billy let out a scream, but Paul did not react. He had been expecting this.

Gangrel: The only thing inevitable about this encounter, Paul, is that you will fail in your quest. You will die trying to slay me, for I am more powerful than you can imagine. But I don't want your... unique... talents to go to waste. So if you surrender now, I will allow you to join me. You will lose your soul, but you will gain so much more. Just look at Christian, and all that he has gained.

Paul scoffed.

Paul London: Like what? The Breakout Title? A hopeless faction? I have loftier ambitions than that, Gangrel.

Gangrel: The only way you're achieving anything is by my side, Paul. It's either that, or death.

Paul London: You can't kill me, Gangrel. For I am more powerful than YOU can imagine!

Using his own words against him seemed to provoke Gangrel. He began walking down the stairs. With each step he took, the house shook, so much so that Billy Kidman dropped the iPhone Paul London had given him, smashing it. Billy began to panic, and as Gangrel charged towards him and Paul, Billy passed out from the fear. When he woke up, Billy was laid in the back of his car. Paul was driving on the I-75, towards Tampa. Paul's face and hands were covered in dried blood, but he was smiling.

Paul London: It's done, Billy. Christian Cage is finally free.

Billy was confused. He began to remember going to Fort Lauderdale, and confronting Gangrel the vampire with Paul London... but surely that had all been a dream? As Billy pondered this, Paul responded as if he could read Billy's mind.

Paul London: It's all real, my friend. Sadly no one will ever believe us – there's no evidence since the iPhone was destroyed – but thanks to you and me, the world is a better place.

Billy was still sceptical, but he didn’t have the energy to argue. His head was pounding.

Billy Kidman: Will you tell Christian what you've done?

Paul London: He definitely wouldn't believe me. This is a guy who believes he's one of the top superstars in EBWF... he believes his own hype, there's no way he's going to admit that the only reason he's achieved anything as a wrestler was because Gangrel gave him supernatural abilities. It's best not to say anything, although I do feel a little sorry for the guy. Now we've slayed Gangrel, Christian will become human again. It's going to look something like the basketball players in Space Jam when the aliens took their ability. But hey, at least he'll have an excuse when I beat him on Warfare.

Billy groaned. He couldn't help it.

Billy Kidman: Let me guess, Space Jam is real too?

Paul chuckled.

Paul London: Of course not. It's a movie. Although it’s based on a true story. Michael Jordan just changed a few things to make himself look better...

As he drove Billy Kidman back to Tampa, Paul London told his former tag team partner the true story behind Space Jam. I could tell you it, too, but that's a story for another time.
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A.J
Posts: 315
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2020 8:38 pm

Re: Vampire Slayer

Post by A.J »

Looks like I have my work cut out for me 🤣🤣🤣

Good job Ben
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