The SUV dropped as it continued down the small, poorly kept, gravel road. Renee grabbed a hold of the handle as they drove over yet another pothole. She shook her head as she looked over at the driver. He shrugged his shoulders as to tell her there was nothing he could do. A sigh of relief was let out as the SUV slowly came to a stop. Renee turned her head and looked out the window. Her eyes widened as he mouth dropped open. She looked back at her driver.
Renee Young: ”Are you sure this is the right place?”
SUV Driver: ”This is the address.”
Renee Young: ”I thought he was suppose to be living in a bigger mobile home?”
Renee turned back around and peered out the window once more. The mobile home looked in disrepair. The plastic shutters, made to look like real wood, were barely hanging on. The green tint of moss stained the siding. The wooden railing that lead the way along the stairs was busted as it hung off the side of the porch.
Renee took a deep breath as she pulled on the handle of the door. She swung the door open and set her feet out on the paving that lead the way to the mobile home. She stood up out of the SUV and looked forward at her path. The paving stones barely visible due to the overgrown grass and weeds. Renee shook her head as she stepped forward and closed the door behind her. She walked through the weeds as she attempted to stay on the pavers. As she neared the porch, she looked up and took a hold of the broken railing. As soon as she touched it, the railing fell away from the porch and crashed into the grass. She took a step back, startled. She turned and looked back at the SUV, but she didn’t turn around. Renee faced forward once again and ascended the stairs. She looked uneasy as she took her time on the four steps.
Once on the porch, she took a sign of relief and took a moment to compose herself. Renee then took a few steps and reached the front door. The wooden frame of a screen door was there, but the screen was missing. Renee reached forward and took the small metal handle into her grasp and pulled up the door. She brought up her free hand and tapped it against the door.
Renee stood there for a few moments, nothing happened. She knocked once again and waited. There was still no answer at the door. Renee looked back and shrugged her shoulders. Just then a crash was heard from inside the trailer. Renee looked back at the door as she heard the door unlock. Within seconds, the door swung open and there stood former EBWF Superstar, Heath Slater.
Heath Slater: ”Well, well… Renee Young… I see you’ve finally come to your senses. I knew if I continued to text, you’d come around.”
Slater leaned against the frame of the doorway and smirked at Renee. He gave her a wink which caused her to shudder. She shook her head and quickly turned him down.
Renee Young: ”Uh. No. I’m here for EBWF’s new show on YouTube. “Where Are They Now”. The look into the lives of former EBWF Superstars. Didn’t Danielle call you?”
The smirk on Slater’s face fade away as he stood up. He adjusted his shirt and nodded his head.
Heath Slater: ”Oh yeah… She left a message… I’m totally messing with you, Renee.”
His actions showed that he had no idea what she was talking about.
Heath Slater: ”I’m a married man, Renee. I wouldn’t text you.”
Renee Young: ”Right...”
Heath chuckled nervously.
Heath Slater: ”Come in.. Come in.. Welcome to our humble abode.”
Renee Young: ”It’s nice...”
She looked out at the unattended yard. Slater peeked out the door and looked at the direction she turned her attention to.
Heath Slater: ”Oh that.. You know, it’s been raining..”
Heath stumbled with his words for a second. He then leaned into the mobile home and tucked his head behind the door. He could be heard as he yelled out.
Heath Slater: ”Roscoe!! Get outside and do your chores, or no Swiss Roll for dessert tonight!!!”
His head popped back out from behind the door and then reached out and lead Renee through the doorway. He looked out the door before he closed the wooden frame of the screen door. He turned around and walked up next to Renee. He outstretched his arms as he brought her attention to the main room of the mobile home. Renee looked around at the white panel walls. She gave a smirk as Heath spoke up.
Heath Slater: ”Well Renee, here is Casa de Slater. Please, make yourself at home.”
Renee Young: ”Thank you for the warm welcome.”
Heath Slater: ”Now, what is this show about?”
Renee Young: ”Well, I go around to a handful of former EBWF Superstars and I sit down with them and find out what they’ve been doing since leaving EBWF.”
Heath Slater: ”You wanna know what I’ve been doing since leaving EBWF? How long are these interviews? I’ve been doing it all since leaving EBWF. This could get lengthy.”
Renee Young: ”Oh yeah? Well enlighten the EBWF Universe. What projects do you have going on?”
Slater stood there and nodded. He continued to nod in silence as he thought to himself. Renee put the pressure on him as she looked at him, eager to know what he had to say.
Heath Slater: ”Well, it’s not so much as I have things going on, right now. But that’s because I’ve been keeping my options open. There’s been loads of offers though. Poor Beulah. I bet she needs to write down thirty… Eighty messages from all over.”
He paused momentarily.
Heath Slater: ”Everyone saw my acting chops in The Marine 5, so Steve Spielberg has been hounding me to star in his next movie. Florida Georgia Lime wants me to be guest vocals on their next album, but I had to turn that down. I mean, Florida is famous for oranges. Georgia has its peaches. So why pick limes?”
She shrugged his shoulders as he shook his head.
Renee Young: ”Florida Georgia Line?”
Heath Slater: ”That’s what I said Renee, Florida Georgia Lime. They knew of my talent on vocals from when we crossed paths in WWE. They called me up and their like, “Gator…” That’s how close we are. Georgia was like, “Gator, we need you on this song.” I told them I would think about it. They kept calling, and calling. Desperate. After like the thousandth call, I had to let them down. I was like, “Florida, you need to let Georgia and Lime know that I can’t do the song. It would do nothing for my career.” It was sad.”
He took a pause as he lead Renee around the mobile home.
Heath Slater: ”They begged and pleaded. They tried to offer me more royalties on the album. After a while, they gave up and went with the Backstreet Boys.”
Renee Young: ”You’re kidding.”
Heath Slater: ”No, no… God, Your Mama, and Me. That was supposed to be me doing the featured vocals, not the Boys.”
Renee silently mouthed the word “Wow” as she turned her attention from Heath to in front of her. Heath motioned forward as his wife, Beulah, came into the picture. Beulah walked right up and begun to make out with Heath. Renee looked uncomfortable as a few seconds passed by. Slater finally pushed Beulah off and took a deep breath. He nodded his head over to Renee.
Heath Slater: ”Calm yourself baby, we’ve got guests.”
Beulah looked Renee up and down.
Beulah Slater: ”Who’s she?”
Heath Slater: ”Baby, this is Renee, from EBWF.”
She eyed Renee once again as she answered.
Beulah Slater: ”Aight, but she gets she wears the gag this time.”
Renee’s eyes widen as she stood there in shock, and disgust. Heath quickly jumped in between Beulah and Renee and put his hands on Beulah’s shoulders. He shook his head as he looked at her.
Heath Slater: ”No.. No, she’s not here for that. Look at the cameras. She’s here for EBWF. They’re doing a story on yours truly.”
As soon as Beulah noticed the cameras, she instantly begun to fix her hair. She tugged at her shirt to pull it down a bit. She smiled as she turned her whole body to the cameras.
Beulah Slater: ”A show?! You mean I’m going to be on TV? Why didn’t you tell me. I would have gone to the beauty salon.”
Renee Young: ”It’s not on television..”
Heath Slater: ”Yeah babe. Renee, she gets all good scoops. We’re too good for cable. We’re gonna be on YouTube.”
Beulah Slater: ”Oh my… We’re going to be viral?!”
Slater nodded to confirm Beulah’s statement.
Beulah Slater: ”Here, let me whip up a snack.”
Renee Young: ”You don’t have to…”
Renee put her hands up in protest, but Beulah has already turned and walked away. Slater smiled as he turned to Renee.
Heath Slater: ”Take a look at that hospitality. She just got done cutting up a can of Spam for lunch, and now she’s making or-derves. What a woman. She learned it all from the best.”
Renee Young: ”Martha Stewart?”
Heath Slater: ”Heck no.. Rachel Ray all the way… BAY BAY!!!”
Renee covered her ear as Heath screamed very close to her.
Heath Slater: ”That’s where Beulah learned all her homemade recipes.”
Renee looked a little confused, but she didn’t question Heath’s logic. She shook her head as she followed Heath over to a small table that has four chairs at it. Heath pulled out one of the chairs and motioned for Renee to have a seat. With a fake smile, Renee sat down at the table. Heath moved out the chair next to Renee and sat down beside her. He smiled at her as she looked back at him.
Renee Young: ”Let’s get back on track here. Why don’t you tell me a little bit more on what you’ve been up to since your departure from EBWF in 2012.”
Slater leaned back in his chair.
Heath Slater: ”Wow, has it been that long?”
Renee Young: ”Sure we’ve seen you come and go, but you have not been a part of the EBWF roster since then.”
Heath Slater: ”Crazy how time flies.”
Slater shook his head as he continued.
Heath Slater: ”Honestly Renee, the Slater Clan has been on a rocky road since leaving EBWF. When I left EBWF, I was on top of the world. I was living the lap of luxury. We moved into a double wide. We got the kids an in ground pool. We’ve always had an above ground pool, don’t get me wrong. We weren’t savages. But with the in ground pool, John and Justin were able to practice their cannon balls. You should have seen it. Splash zone was like five feet.”
Renee Young: ”Sounds like quite the lifestyle.”
Heath Slater: ”You have no idea Renee. Beulah and I, we were able to buy a car with four doors. That’s when we knew we made it.”
Renee Young: ”You’ve never owned a sedan?”
Heath Slater: ”I don’t know what manufacturer makes that brand, but we had a Ford Tauros. It was some fancy thing named after an animal from a cartoon, or something like that. Major step up from that three door Golf we traded in.”
Renee Young: ”Three doors?”
Heath Slater: ”Do you want the long story, or the short?”
Renee Young: ”Umm...”
Heath Slater: ”Ah!! I’m just joshing you, Renee. There’s only one story.”
Slater playfully nudged Renee with his elbow.
Heath Slater: ”A few years ago, Beulah and I had the five kids shoved into the Golf. We were going down the freeway. I don’t remember where we were heading, but the kids were in a rush to get out of the car. So there we are, driving a long, about at sixty-three bottle of beer, when all of a sudden. A door goes flying in front of us. We heard a few car horns honking behind us. We thought we just missed an accident.”
Renee Young: ”Oh my...”
Heath Slater: ”Oh don’t worry, there wasn’t an accident.”
Renee Young: ”Then what happened?”
Heath Slater: ”Well, as I was saying. Beulah and I thought that we nearly avoided a catrosphy. She reached into the glove box and handed me the rear view mirror and I stuck it out to take a peek.”
Still confused with Heath’s stories, Renee let him continue.
Heath Slater: ”Do you know what I saw in the mirror?”
She shook her head instead of speaking.
Heath Slater: ”Roscoe.”
Renee Young: ”Roscoe?”
Heath Slater: ”Roscoe.”
The confusion grew on Renee’s face. Heath nodded as he he looked at her.
Heath Slater: ”I know what you’re thinking. Beulah and I thought the same thing. We thought Roscoe was in the back seat, bungee corded together with his six siblings. Nope. Roscoe was cooped up in the car too long, so he decided he wanted to get out. So Roscoe opened the car door, just as another car passed by. Took the whole thing off the hinges.”
Renee Young: ”Oh my God! What happened to Roscoe?”
Heath Slater: ”Well, that’s what I saw in the mirror when I looked back. Roscoe, standing there holding the handle to the door. Never could get that door to stay on after that.”
Heath continued to nod with a smile. Renee shook her head in disbelief.
Heath Slater: ”That’s why the family was so excited when we bought the Tauros.”
Renee Young: ”Where is it now? I didn’t see it out front.”
Slater’s mood turned from exuberance to a more saddened vibe. He leaned forward into and rested his elbows on the table.
Heath Slater: ”Well Renee, that’s when the rollercoaster hit its decline. I was working on a few odd and end promotions. Do a couple of local gigs with the band. Bringing in a good chunk of cheddar. But the money slowed. Jobs became few and far between. We hit a little rough patch to say the least. The bank foreclosed on the double wide. Ford came and repoed the Tauros. It was a sad time for The Slaters.”
Renee Young: ”I’m sorry to hear about that.”
Heath Slater: ”Don’t you worry about that. If there’s one thing about us Slaters. We always end up on out feet. We’re like cats. No matter how far the drop. Five feet. Twenty feet. One hundred feet. We always land on our feet.”
Renee Young: ”So you’re working on a revival then?”
Slater shrugged his shoulders as he answered.
Heath Slater: ”Dash and Dawson are a good team, but their more of a duo. I don’t think they’d want me to intrude on their tag team.”
Renee Young: ”Who?”
Heath Slater: ”Huh?”
Renee Young: ”What?”
Heath Slater: ”I dunno, you’re the one asking the questions. Anyways Renee, I’ve still got offers coming in left and right. Don’t you worry about that. MTV wanted me to a southern style version of Cribs. I had Netflix call and wanted me to do a guest spot on GLOW. There’s been plenty of nibbles, but nothing I wanted to bite onto.”
Renee Young: ”So you have nothing going on?”
Heath Slater: ”I wouldn’t say nothing. I mean, look at all this.”
Heath outstretched his arms and shifted left and right. He showed off the trailer to Renee once again. Beulah walked up behind him and nearly lost the plate that she was carrying. She hit Heath on the back of the head and he quickly put his arms back down. Beulah placed the plate down onto the table. Crackers and Vienna Sausages were nice placed around the rim of the plate. Heath smiled and motioned down to the plate with his hands.
Heath Slater: ”See what I mean, Renee. That’s gourmet right there. See these?”
Slater reached down and picked up one Vienna Sausage and wiggled it in the are.
Heath Slater: ”These are foreign. Flown in from Vienna. That’s in just outside Paris. We may be down and out, but The Slaters don’t penny pinch.”
Renee Young: ”I don’t think that’s correct.”
Heath Slater: ”Don’t worry Renee, you’re from Canada. They didn’t teach you imports and exports in university.”
She squinted her eyes as she looked over at him. She ignored the ignorant remark by Heath and continued on, changing the subject.
Renee Young: ”If the opportunity came up, would you think about a return to EBWF?”
Heath Slater: ”Wow, a return. You know Renee, EBWF and I have a historied path. Justin and I, we brought back a division that was on its deathbed. And the thanks that we got? We got boot out of the company. Stripped of the titles. We were made to look like fools. Now I know that I’ve made a few appearance here and there, all for my brother, Justin. But if EBWF would come up to me and offer me a contract. I don’t know.”
Renee Young: ”You wouldn’t accept it?”
Heath Slater: ”I mean, if Wes Ikeda dug deep into his pockets and paid me what I’m worth. I’d be on the next flight to St. Louis, but money bags, he just doesn’t like to dig that deep. So I doubt EBWF could afford me. I’m in high demand right now Renee. I’m what you call, a hot commodity.”
Renee Young: ”With the King of the Ring Tournament coming up, I know Wes Ikeda is looking for men to fill out the bracket.”
Heath Slater: ”WHAT?!”
Heath jumped out of his seat, the table rocked from the sudden impact as he rose. He slammed his hands down on table. The plate of food jumped slightly off the table. The food a jumbled mess on the plate. Renee smiled with a nod.
Renee Young: ”Yes, I know for a fact that Wes Ikeda is looking for talent. Who knows, he might be real interested in a “hot commodity” like yourself.”
Heath Slater: ”What.. Why didn’t you say that before. We can cut all that out right. All that stuff about money bags and deep pockets. Look, I’m in. I don’t care the offer, sign me up for that tournament.”
Renee Young: ”I don’t have that power. You’re going to have to call JR or Wes himself.”
Heath quickly turned to Beulah.
Heath Slater: ”Babe, grab me the rolodex and the rotary.”
He turned to Renee and reached down and pulled her out of her seat. He hurried her to the front foot, the sound of a lawn mower could be heard trying to be started.
Heath Slater: ”Sorry, but I have to cut this short. You need to go. I have a few calls to make and I can’t have you people here making me nervous. Let’s go. Out.”
Slater quickly opened the wooden frame of a screen door and pushed Renee softly out the door. He smiled and closed the door behind her. She stood there, a little put off from being pushed out the door. From inside the mobile home, Heath’s voice could be heard screaming.
Heath Slater: ”WWWOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOO!! DID YOU HEAR THAT BABY!! I’M GOING TO BE KING OF THE RING!!!! THE SLATERS ARE GOING TO BE ROYALTY!!!!”
Renee shook her head has she walked back to the SUV that was still waiting outside for her. She walked through the overgrown grass quickly this as she just wanted to leave. She hurried into the SUV and shook her head one more. She didn’t say a word, but she motioned for the drive to just go.
The EBWF Universe quieted down from the excite of the night. The night was young, and given the EBWF King and Queen of the Ring Tournaments were both in full swing, there was plenty more excitement to come in the next few hours of Warfare. While a few of the members got up to use the restroom or visit the concessions stand. A loud noise came across the sounds system. It was the sound of a record being stopped. All of a sudden…
“I’M JUST ONE MAN!!!”
The words rang out throughout the arena. Followed by “More Than One Man” as it blasted onto the sound system. The EBWF Universe erupted as Heath Slater strutted out onto the stage. He paused and smiled. He took a moment on the stage as he soaked in his return. Finally, Slater brought his arm down as he gave a quick air-guitar motion across his midsection. Slater took his first steps as he made his way down to the ring. Unlike ever before, the EBWF Universe cheered for Heath as he walked. A vibrant smirk grew on his face as he listened.
Slater rounded the ring and jumped up on the apron. Before he entered the ropes, he turned to face the Universe. He strumbed his midsection ones more. Slater threw his leg over the middle rope and entered the ring. As soon as he was inside, Slater paused and took in the Universe once more. Slater then made his way over to Christy Hemme who instantly handed out the microphone. Slater smiled and took the microphone in hand. Before Christy could turn to leave, Heath grabbed her and gave her a hug, lifting her off her feet, in excitement. Slate then took the microphone and walked around the ring.
Heath Slater: ”WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOoo….”
Slater paused stopped in his track. He held up a finger as he attempted to catch his breath. Soon, he straightened up and begun to walk again.
Heath Slater: ”oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”
Slater bent down at the knees as he finished off his longest “Woo” in EBWF history. He let out a scream of excitement as he straightened back up.
Heath Slater: ”What?! Wow!! I’ve never had a reaction like that!!!”
Slater needed to take another pause as the EBWF Universe in unison screamed out, “Welcome back!”
Heath Slater: ”That’s right, the HOTTEST free agent in the World today, is HERE!!!! EBWF has just resigned the best thing going in this business. No, scratch that. They just resigned the hottest commodity in all of entertainment. Heath “Frickin!” Slater. BAAAAAYYYYYYY BAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!
Woo, that’s right I’m back. After over six long years Wes Ikeda has caved. After flooding his email. Blowing up his Twitter. Stalking him on Instagram. He gave into the people. We demanded it, and we got it. Heath Slater is back in EBWF.”
Slater finally came to a rest in the middle of the ring as he continued to speak.
Heath Slater: ”When I got that phone call from Wes himself, you know, I had to actually verify that it was him. He had to fax me a picture with the days newspaper. Once I was sure that I wasn’t getting punked, I listened to Wes’ offer. It was good, don’t get me wrong. However, I told him how much demand there was for me. I have movie deals coming in left and right. My music career is stronger than ever. I’m even a YouTube sensation.
I told Wes all that and I said, “Wes, look I like the offer, but I have to look out for my nine kids. I have to think of them first.” That’s when Wes countered back with an even bigger deal.
Oh I’m right there with you, I almost bit. But no, I let it stew. I told Wes the five words he hates to hear. I told him, “I’ll get back to you.””
Slater nodded as the crowd “Oooed”.
Heath Slater: ”Ooo is right. He didn’t like that.
Days went by, I got another twenty calls. I let him hang for a week or so, Beulah had to buy a couple new pads to take down all the messages. Finally, I answered Wes. I told him that I thought about it and well, returning to EBWF would be amazing, I just didn’t think it was best for my imagine. That did it.
That’s when Wes laid down the chips. He gave me one final offer and he even added in a bonus. So what did I do?”
Slater threw his hands up in the air and shook his head.
Heath Slater: ”Y’all know just what I did. I flew to St. Louis and I signed that contract. And here I am.”
He outstretched his arms with a smirk. He took in the cheers once again before he dropped his arms and continued.
Heath Slater: ”Now I won’t go into the monetary value of my contract, but I will let you all in on the bonus. That bonus is being put into this years King of the Ring Tournament.
That’s right, your boy is on his way to becoming a king.
King Slater.”
He gave a quick nod as he liked the sound of that, even if it came from his own mouth.
Heath Slater: ”That’s right, move over Prince Harry and Meghan. There’s new going to be a new royal family, and that family’s name is Slater.”
With a smirk on his face, Slater shined in the glory.
Heath Slater: ”Beulah, baby, forget the double wide. I know after the bank foreclosed on our last one, I promised you a new one. But after I become King of the Ring…
WE’RE MOVING TO BUCKINGHAM!! BAAAAYYYY BAAAAYYYYYY”
Slater screamed into the microphone as the EBWF Universe joined in on “BAY BAY”.
Heath Slater: ”Seriously thought, I don’t know who I’m facing. Some Harry Potter rip off I believe, Tom Riddle right? No? Are you sure?
Darn, I got a wand and everything...”
Slater reached into the waistband of his tights and pulled out a stick.
Heath Slater: ”I was practicing all week for this.
Wingardium leviosa...”
Slater went to motion his wand, but accidentally lost his grip as the stick flew into the EBWF Universe. He looked out in the direction it went and shrugged.
Heath Slater: ”Oh well, I’m a muggle anyways.
Anyways, riddle me his Matt Riddle? What do you get when you have a failed UFC fighter try his hand inside this ring?
Ken Shamrock.”
Slater smirked once more.
Heath Slater: ”Ken Shamrock left MMA and he tried to compete in WWE back in the day, do you remember that? I do, but that’s because I actually love this business. And what I do remember about Ken Shamrock, he had a mediocre run.
Sure, he got some shots in there. He made a little impact. But shortly after, he faded away.
He became nothing more than a faint memory. He never made it big. He never made his career in the wrestling world worth anything. A few championship and fake WWE King of the Ring crown. It was a joke, and I’m felt bad having to watch it. Imagine how he felt to live it.
You however, Matt Riddle. You’re not going to have to imagine it. Your career path, aside from winning the King of the Ring, is destined to be just like Ken Shamrock’s. Nothing more than a mere afterthought. You’re just my first step towards myself becoming King of the Ring.”
Slater lowered the microphone. “More Than One Man” blasted back onto the sound system. The EBWF Universe erupted again as Slater turned the serious off and instantly went back to strumming his air guitar.
Hey everyone, this one kinda got away from me. I enjoyed writing the first scene, I didn't want it to end. There's so much that I look forward doing with Heath, so I hope you all stick around and enjoy it as much as I will. Good luck Sam, always fun. I hope you all enjoy.
