Fiction

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D.J
Posts: 430
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:53 pm

Fiction

Post by D.J »

The scene opened up outside at a Hooters restaurant. When the camera panned inside- Matt Riddle sat alone in a booth. He wore a purple hoodie and a matching flat brimmed hat. He had wing sauce all over his face as he happily chewed on one of his chicken wings. After a few beats The Miz walked into the front door.

Waitresses: Welcome to Hooters!

Miz nodded politely. He wore a black sweater and gray slacks. He scanned the restaurant for his partner. Riddle spotted Miz and Immediately stood up excited.

Riddle: Miz! Miz! Right here bro!! I got wings !

Miz shook his head as if to say “how did I get here?” He smiled and waved as he made his way over to the table. The two men fist bumped and Miz sat down across from him.

Riddle: Bro you need to try these wings.. they are insane ! I can see why people come here for the food!

Miz scanned the place that was full of attractive girls in orange booty shorts.

The Miz: Right, exactly.. the food. Anyways- what’s your wife think about you being here?

There was a pause. The two men then busted out laughing.

Riddle: Oh so you must have seen Roman too. This dude just made up a whole fake life for me. Wife? Kids? Podcasts? Like no, no, no. Imagine being so boring that you literally have to make up information to like talk smack. Bro if I ever had a wife- I wouldn’t cheat. Like who cheats? I mean I guess I did used to cheat on my Math tests and stuff- but not only did this guy marry me off- he turned me into a cheater.. and my imaginary kids are a part of this too! The horror!

The Miz laughed.

The Miz: The horror! I’m sure your fake kids and fake wife have fake had it up to here with you and your antics.

Riddle: I need to learn how to fake control my fake urges- and start being a better fake dad to my fake kids bro.

The Miz: Real talk. Next thing you know this guys going to start saying I’m married to Maryse.

Riddle smirked

Riddle: Ohh that’d be so dope.. you’d probably have a reality show or something.

The Miz thought for a second.

The Miz: Yeah like that could ever happen.

Riddle nodded empathetically. A waitress came over to the table her name was Camryn.. it said it on the napkin with a heart,

Camryn: How were the wings?

Riddle: So good bro.

Camryn: Great! Can I get you anything else?

Riddle: I mean maybe your phone number!

Camryn smiled as did Riddle. The Miz looked annoyed.

The Miz: I’m here too Camryn.. slightly more famous.. you may have heard of me. 6 time champ.. future ebwf hall of famer.

Riddle: You’re not that great bro.. you don’t even have a reality show.

The Miz bowed his head.

The Miz: True.

Camryn looked confused but her ditzy energy turned her attention to Miz.

Camryn: Can I get you anything ?!

The Miz: Just one bud light for me. I gotta get home to watch dancing with the stars with the wife.. always wanted to be on that show.. Never say never I guess.

Riddle nodded.

Riddle: You’ll get there bro. You’ll get there.

Camryn smiled

Camryn: Coming right up.

Riddle checked her out as she walked away.

Riddle: Arrest me for fake murder bro.

The Miz: What do you mean?

Riddle: I just pushed my fake wife in front of a train to be with Camryn.

The Miz: Ouch that’s going to leave a mark. Too bad she didn’t have a shield.

Riddle: I see what you did there bro. So yeah fiction writer Roman Reigns threatened me all sorts of crazy. I’d be pretty scared.. it’s just.. well .. I’m not bro. Clearly this guy is detached from reality. It just could never happen.. will never happen. Basically it’s the equivalent of Roman starting a faction with the USOs called The Bloodline and Sami Zayn is a part of it. Doesn’t even make any sense.

The Miz: It’s just Ludicris- like move bitch get out the way.

Riddle: I think that was DMX.

The Miz: Are you sure?

Riddle: Miz I just found out today I have a wife I cheat on even though I have kids that I also just found out about.. I’m not sure of anything anymore! I mean bro I know I smoke a lot of pot but apparently I went on a podcast about this situation too.. definitely don’t remember that.. didn’t get paid for it. So again I’m all just sitting here like W-T-F bro.

Miz went to respond but Riddle beat him to it.

Riddle: I take it back.. I am sure of one thing, and that’s that I’m going to come out on top against Roman Rainy Day- I’m going to twist him around like a pretzel- cover him with mustard and eat him like I had the munchies. Roman you tell your 4 armed alien wife from planet Dreglagon.. that I made up for this insult.. that you’re not going to be home tomorrow night, because you’ll be en route to a hospital bed after I get done.. brutalizing you.. for real.

Camryn brought Miz drink.

The Miz: Thank you !

Camryn: No problem.

As she faced Miz she back handed a slip of paper towards Riddle. Riddle smiled excited. Camryn walked away.

Riddle: Phone number!! Ugh falling back into my old cheating ways. When will I learn to behave myself?!

The Miz: It’s a great mystery. What isn’t though- is that Bro Awesome is one of the most talked about teams in the EBWF right now, no way someone like Roman Reigns is going to slow down his momentum. I mean the guy acts like he’s been champion for like 813 days or something.

Riddle: Seriously bro. The guys a nobody who acts like the biggest somebody in the world. Like Head of the Table ? Greatest of all Time? Like bro you’ve done nothing here- why do I need to acknowledge you? I will acknowledge two things and that’s that Hooters wings are the bomb- and that I’m going to destroy the so called “Tribal Chief” on Monday Night.

The Miz sipped his beer.

The Miz: Bud lights stock just went even higher.

Riddle: Speaking of higher.. we should get out of here.

The Miz finished his drink.

The Miz: Yes we should- but before letting Roman Reigns know that he has absolutely no shot at slowing us down.

Because I’m the Miz

Riddle: And I’m Riddle

The Miz: And we’re..

Riddle: Brooooooooooooo

The Miz: Aweeeeeeesomeeeeeee

The scene faded to black.
THE MIZ

EBWF World Champion (x7- Current) EBWF Intercontinental Champion (x3) EBWF Tag Team Champion (x2) EBWF PTG Champion (x2 ) EBWF Gateway Champion (1x)