“I guess anti inflammatory medications are out of the question?”

Damn right they were. A low grunt escaped his lips as Punk hopped off the examination table, clutching his shoulder, keeping it tight to his torso as if releasing it would cause it to fall off his body. And awkward landing after being eliminated from the Royal Rumble was what caused this unwanted visit to Dr. Clemente’s office. Punk was on his way out when he heard the doctors voice again.

Dr. Clemente: You know, you don’t need to be a lone gunslinger, you don’t have to be Han Solo… All I’m trying to do is help.

Punk didn’t turn her head towards the doctor and pushed the door of her office open.

CM Punk: Do I look like I need help? Look, doc… I don’t know if it is a stupid sense of self righteousness, or the hippocratic oath… But I don’t need your medications, I don’t need your help… But most importantly, I don’t want it. I’ve healed a fractured skull by myself, without needing any fancy meds nor procedures… I can do fine with a sore shoulder. Save those meds for someone who trully, really needs them… I’ve heard painkillers are all the rage nowadays among ‘top dogs’, tell Ikeda he’ll hear about me when I’ve healed up.

With that being said, Punk slammed the door on his way out of the office. He had grown used to doing things his way and facing the consequences, it was not the most popular approach, but it had led him to where he was. A month of rest, disciplined strengthening exercises and half a ton of icepacks later, his arm seemed as good as new. Clad in a white Jiu Jitsu gi with the 'Rene Gracie dojo's logo in the background, a camera shot CM Punk and a random sparring opponent. Throwing kicks back and forth, then shooting some blocks and finally some grapples. Punk grabbed his opponent by the arm and went for a huge takedown. The camera's red bulb dimmed down, it was there and then when Punk acknowledged the man holding the camera. He had been laying low for the past month or so, in Gracie's gym located in California.

CM Punk: Was that enough?

Camera man: Yeah, I think we're good. They want some vignettes to air on the site and in between commercial breaks to hype your return to EBWF.

He nodded. In a distant time, at some other moment he would have been thrilled, he would have asked to edit them himself. He wasn't much of a visual arts major, but he learned a thing or two at OVW. Now, his interest in the plastic product EBWF was couldn't bother him to wonder if they'd put those images to good use. Punk reached for a huge jar of water and had a good, long chugs of it, a voice behind him drew his attention.

Rene Gracie: You look ready. Do you feel ready?

Punk turned over his shoulder to acknowledge the presence of the man who had taken him under his wing for a couple of years ago, his lips still locked to the neck of the bottle as he shrugged, before putting it down.

Rene Gracie: Are you happy? Do you feel fulfilled? You know... Going back there?

Does the pope shit in the woods? Punk offered Rene a smirk. Something told him his master knew the answer to the question he just asked.

CM Punk: At least my shoulder is all healed up. I do feel a lot better, I've cut a good few pounds, I feel lighter and stronger than I've felt in years... Everything about that place is wrong, but walking out on them feels like a defeat to me. That's exactly what everyone wants. The only way I'm leaving that place is with a broken neck or with a firing order from the board of directos. I feel this is an opportunity to get what I deserve, ya know? Show the world what I'm really made of, and speak my mind on what has transpired for the past months.

Rene Gracie: Well, that Dana White offer is still on the table...

Punk nodded, albeit briefly.

CM Punk: I am well aware of that, but there'd be a time and a place to talk about it. I want my mind focusing solely on my contractual obligations... We'll see if they want to deal with me once my deal expires.

Rene Gracie: When is that?

CM Punk: After WrestleMania.

Rene Gracie: What is that, a month or so?

Punk nodded.

CM Punk: 3 or 4 live shows, all the media coverage and the Pay Per View.

Rene Gracie: I've known you for a while right now, and I believe everything you do, you do it with dedication and the uttermost passion I have ever seen in a man... So it goes without saying that you gotta do your best.

Punk nodded and gave his master a pat in the back, he received one in return.

CM Punk: On a side note... I am glad I am leaving, traffic here is a nightmare!

Rene Gracie: Well, of course... Traffic must be a bitch in your big ass bus. Any idea on who your next opponentis going to be?


Punk snarled before mouthing the name of his next opponent, as if it would leave him a bad taste in the mouth to pronounce it.

CM Punk: Dwayne.

Rene Gracie: Guy looks fit.

CM Punk: Yeah, he's got muscle for showing... I'll be damned if I have to carry his hypertrophic ass in another match...

Rene Gracie: That bad huh?

CM Punk: Yeah, Mr. Big Shot actor doesn't have time to work the ropes prior to a match, he just gets one of the rookies to train with him and when the time for the match comes, he just expects you do "Let him do him" in the ring... He's had a couple of matches where his opponents didn't want to work with him... Some got bumped pretty badly a year ago or so...

Rene Gracie: You've just come out of a deltoid injury, so play nicely.

CM Punk: Yeah, the moment he botches a move, I lock the Anaconda Vice until his neck snaps. I don't care if I get fired.

Facing the Rock felt like salt was being rubbed on the wound... The man who before EBWF television got the best of CM Punk in their last encounter, only to flush his chance down the toilet. Just what Punk needed for his triumphant return, another guy who thought he was larger than life because he granted wishes, helped people and acted in movies.

XXX

Static filled the Arena's PA System during one of the weekend house shows before the familiar guitar riff from Living Colour's "Cult of Personality" blasted over the PA system, the smarks in attendance exploded in cheers for the Second City Saint as he made his way out to the ring, after performing his usual theatrics and yelling out his battle cry. Punk wasted no time in getting inside the ring and grabbing a hold of a microphone... He leaned against the ropes and waited for the music to fade out and the "CM Punk" chants to fade.

CM Punk: Well, well well... The moment I walked back into this place and noticing how AJ Styles was the World Champion and Brian Kendrick still being relevant... I had to ask myself: Gee, did Wes Ikeda scrape the bottom of the barrel? Then, Karma being a bitch... And by Karma I mean the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences... And not Awesome Kong's stupid WWE name. Karma presents to me tonight in the form of Dwayne...

Punk's facial expression denoted irritability.

CM Punk: You're like a bad rash, Rock... You come here, cause a fuss, make everyone itchy and then you leave... But when you least expect it, you're back, itching and bitching. Can someone please remind me what have I done to deserve facing the Rock AGAIN?

Punk pointed at the camera, mouthing out "Jessica, this ain't funny!"

CM Punk: Can someone please remind me why is the Rock relevant these days? Is he competing with Kim Kardashian on most instagram likes? I trully fail to see what's still relevant about The Rock in 2015... I'm dead serious when I ask this question. Is it his humor? Because I'm sure Dane Cook could kick his ass on the mic... Is it because he's a good actor? And by good actor I mean someone who comes out here and ACTS like he truly cares for this craft and ACTS like he is interested in wrestling all over the country? Or is it his wrestling skills? AKA spending twenty minutes in the ground locked in rest holds? The Rock is so irrelevant he didn't make it into a movie about the Stone Age! Have you seen it? Everyone who is somebody is in that Flintstones movie, but the name of the guy whose name closest resembles a stalactite was CUT from the movie...

A "CM Punkrock" chant broke from the first couple of lines in attendance, soon dying out.

CM Punk: Now, I am going to cut all the crap right now, Dwayne. I know you probably have readied your routine of jokes and coloproctologic puns... But this isn't the Nickelodeon awards, this isn't the red carpet, this isn't your newest show... This is a wrestling ring... And sure, everyone has cackled and giggled at your pubescent jokes... But when it comes to capitalizing, when it comes to 'walking the walk', you have surely fallen short. Sure... For a man who debuted almost 20 years ago, you know your way around the ropes... You're an old dog, Dwayne... I still remember how I had Edge over my shoulders, how was I going to become the number one contender for the World Tittle... I gotta give it to ya Dwayne, you crashed the party, you took your chance and you got the best of me while I was not looking. I remember Jim Ross saying: BAH GAWD WHAT A RETURN, THE ROCK HAS RETURNED AND HE'S THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER! Let me ask you something Dwayne, where is your belt? Where is your championship? Oh yeah... You lost to a rookie. You came in with your oversized arms and your baby oil scent and promised millions and millions of people to become the World Champion... Yet you failed miserably. A couple of months later... You make it into the Elimination Chamber... You flap your gums about winning gold, about cooking and whatnot... And you make a fool out of yourself. A. Complete. Fool. I used to think you were a fool after seeing you in leotards, Dwayne... But watching you morph from "The people's champion" to "The champion of Empty promises has made me realize you can fall even lower than you already had...

The crowd's reaction was torn apart, mostly favoring the Rock.

CM Punk: Now, I'm not exactly a clairvoyant... But I'm sure you're thinking "Dammit why are my testicles so small!", but besides that... You're probably thinking this is your chance! Third time's a charm! Right? Right?! Third time's a charm alright... Third time is the time I make you pack your bags and send you on your way back to Hollywood, never to return! Because Dwayne... This time it is just you and me... There's no one to coward behind. You can rest assured that my five senses will be solely focused on your bulging, exogenous steroid reeking body from the moment that bell rings to the moment my hand gets raised... And during that time, my mindset will be completely focused on making you REGRET the moment you pondered coming back to the EBWF. All your roided up buddies from Hollywood Hill be shocked in awe seeing a walking, talking, charisma vacuuming pile of meat get beaten up by a scrawny kid from Chicago... They'll revoke your country club membership and all. Dwayne... The next time the thought of you being better than me crosses your mind, please do yourself a favor and remind yourself you are not even the best actor in the world, let alone the best WRESTLER. You're way past that, Dwayne... Please stop screwing people out of their money, promising titles you clearly cannot deliver, and please stop screwing younger talents of their spotlight... Would it be too much to ask if you could also stop using so much oxygen? Seems like a waste... Actually, I could take care of that last one with my bare hands. You see, I can be quite competitive, resilient and persistent... But when it comes to the Path To Glory Title and a score to Settle with Brian Kendrick... "competitive" is an understatement... First and foremost, haven't you BLOWN enough chances already? Let me let you in on a little secret, Dwayne... I would KILL for a Path To Glory shot and I would KILL to get in the ring face to face with Brian Kendrick... Please Dwayne, ask me to kill, make me KILL, I am begging you... Allow me to put you out of your misery, like the sick, old, washed up dog you really are. See you on Monday, star.

Punk dropped the mic and walked out of the ring amidst a mixed reaction from the fans as the scene faded to black.