Poor Parenting

This is where you post your RPs for Warfare, Pay Per Views, and for character development! The deadline for RPs for the current card will be posted in a countdown timer at the top of the forum.
User avatar
Cory
Posts: 425
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:59 pm
Location: Austin, TX
Contact:

Poor Parenting

Post by Cory »

"Randy."

Somewhere in the recesses of the backage area in the T-Mobile Center, Rated RKO was enjoying some well earned spoils from catering. There wasn't much to do at this point - the show was just about to begin, everyone had done their pre-show warm ups, and would do a little more before their matches. Now it was just a matter of time until...

"Randy."

Yes, nothing at all to do but mindlessly stare at their phones and check out a few funny videos. All was well in...

"RANDY."

"Twas the night before Christmas, in Kansas City, Steve Austin was feeling pretty damn shitty..."

Randy's shoulders subtly rose and fell as he chuckled, watching the screen on his phone. Edge looked on, mystified.

Randy Orton: OK, I really don't want to give the smarmy little dingus the oxygen, but this is pretty funny.

Edge cleared his throat.

Edge: Uh Randy, we're recording.

Randy looked up and arched his eyebrow. Edge was standing next to Renee Young, and a microphone was tilted towards him. The cameraman was rolling. Randy subtly put his phone to sleep and slid it in his pocket.

Randy Orton: I uh, agree with whatever he's saying.

Renee Young: I was asking what your thoughts are on defending your Tag Team Championships against the first Father and Son tag team in EBWF history.

Edge: Did you see our promo last Monday?

Randy Orton: There's a lot of history going on right now as we defend these titles at Christmas Eve of Destruction. And really, shouldn't you be talking about some of the historic things we're doing, instead of talking about a kid and his Dad who stayed in the business a couple years too long?

Renee Young: Glad to see you're with us.

Randy smirked.

Randy Orton: Thanks. Anyway, yeah it's adorable that Rey and Dominik are getting a chance to win the tag team titles together. Lord only knows that we've been trying to get some decent competition in this division.

Edge: Not quite what we had in mind, but I guess they won the “Oh shit, someone please take these belts away from us” invitational.

Randy Orton: Seriously, Renee. They're so heavy.

Renee Young: You guys sound like carrying the most prestigious tag team titles in wrestling is some kind of albatross.

Randy Orton: Renee, let me explain something that you may find difficult to hear. We were the best tag team in EBWF history before we won these.

Randy shifted his tag title off his shoulder and moved it closer to the camera.

Randy Orton: We didn't need to go on this 21 month reign to demonstrate that we're better than DX. Better than FedEx. Better than the Sumerian Death Squad. This reign is just putting something in print that has been obvious to anyone paying attention for years.

He grinned.

Randy Orton: No one can touch us. And so here we are, desperate for a tag team that's worth a damn to come here and challenge us. It hasn't been easy, Renee. Edge wasn't kidding about the "Oh shit, someone please take these belts away from us" Invitational. We workshopped that and it made the top 3.

Edge laughed.

Edge: The FCC ruins everything.

He shrugged.

Renee Young: If you want to be rid of the tag titles why don’t you just vacate them?

Edge: What is the fun in that? Have you seen the Tag Title Championship History? “Vacated” might be the most decorated EBWF Tag Team Champions of all time. No, we invite someone to come take these from us, but we’re not just going to give them away. Let’s see… it’s December 24th…

Edge started to count on his fingers.

Edge: Twenty…

Randy Orton: Carry the one.

Edge: 39! Thirty nine days from today and all those records and accolades we talked about last week go in the history books. Randy… who was King of the Ring this year? I’m pretending like I forgot.

Randy Orton: Scary Street-tough Rey Mysterio..

Edge: And did he become World Champion at Summerslam?

Randy smirked and shook his head.

Randy Orton: Left looking up at the lights.

Edge: Exactly and… wait… is he wearing the mask again? Damn, I really need to watch back our opponents' promos sometime.

Randy Orton: I feel like at this point if he puts his mask back on, he's angering the Lucha Gods and...

Edge: Careful.

Randy Orton: I was just going to say, the man needs to pick a lane. If he wants to do this intimidating guy in a hoodie routine, own it. I mean, it's not working, but at least he should own it.

Edge: Not a single “Mom’s Spaghetti”. I’m honestly very disappointed.

Randy Orton: Our next match will be a freestyle rap battle. But in the meantime, we also get to contend with his fresh faced offspring.

Edge: He’s really tall. There’s no way that’s his kid.

Edge gave Randy a skeptical look.

Edge: I’m pretty sure you told Rey that Dominik’s real dad was in hell.

Randy Orton: We don't talk about that here. But you do have a point. Dominik towers over Rey.

Edge: Yes, that was a poorly executed idea, by bad creative, and we don’t talk about that here. In fact, saying Dominik can’t be Rey’s son is probably as stale as someone calling us old and telling us to retire. But Rey, like so many sons and their famous fathers… Dominik is a far better wrestler than you.

Randy Orton: Even if he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. If you haven't noticed, there aren't a lot of father and son tag teams out there. That's because they don't work. Take it from me. The only reason that they do them, is so that Dad can get a little shine from the son's spotlight. Dominik's not quite smart enough to figure out that's what's happening, though.

Edge: Think about it Dominik. Dad is a failed King of the Ring who couldn’t make good on the promise of a world championship and then all of a sudden he carts out a shiny new toy to keep the Mysterio name relevant and interesting. And you're cute, aren’t you, Dom? LITERALLY, carrying your dad out here on your back. Hitting the 619 like a champ. Content not to be your own man. Do you see this guy in a cowboy hat with a cast on his arm? Hmm?

Randy smirked.

Randy Orton: Nah, it seems that's one thing he did inherit from his Dad. Athletic and impressive, but a little slow on the uptake. Dom, I hope you figure it out before it's too late. I've seen it happen in my own life, and in the lives of countless other second and third generation wrestlers. You think it's cool because you have this easy foot in the door, your Dad. But it won't be long before that thing you thought was a ticket to the big time turns into a giant liability that holds you back.

Edge: Not you Blaine. We’re not talking to you.

Randy Orton: Yeah, we know that you've already figured out that your Dad is a dope. But Dom, once you come to that realization, you'll be a lot better off. The only person you should be focusing on is yourself. Learn from someone who's walked down the same road you're on. Do what I did. Kick your Dad in the damn skull before it's too late.

Renee Young: What?

Edge: That didn’t… happen on TV. Um…

Renee Young: Sometimes when I’m interviewing you I feel like I’m in the middle of some movie I haven’t seen.

Edge: That’s fair.

Randy Orton: Meltzer reported it. It was a whole thing. And if there are any police watching this…

Edge: …the statute of limitations has passed.

A buzzing sound suddenly filled the space and Edge cursed.

Edge: We are live, and that’s your wife…

Renee Young: Guys! Focus.

They both turned their attention back to Renee as Edge comically but discreetly silenced the phone.

Renee Young: It’s like herding kittens. This match is happening right before the main event…

Edge: How many times has Jericho faced Miz at this point? Don’t answer that. Answer this instead. Why are we facing the Mysterios tonight and Randy Orton doesn’t have his World Title rematch? Why are Eddie Kingston and Roman Reigns in a match for a shot at MY title when they’ve had three matches between them? Why is the EBWF top brass allowing the conspiracies that Paul Heyman is perpetuating against us.

Renee Young: I think it’s more fair to say that the conspiracies are against Randy.

Edge shook his head.

Edge: You cut me deep.

Randy Orton: It's honestly not clear who the conspiracy is against. I'm not even sure Paul Heyman knows.

Edge: You don’t see how at every turn members of EBWF’s upper echelon are trying to dethrone and divide and conquer Rated RKO. You’re a sheep, Renee. You’re one of them.

Randy leaned closer to Renee and narrowed his eyes into slits.

Randy Orton: Wake. Up.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Renee Young: I find it hard to believe that you two have so little to say about the Mysterios.

Edge: What can we say that hasn’t been said about every other team? We’ve had these belts for 21 months. Before the Sumerian Death Squad beat the record we were the longest reigning tag team champions in EBWF history. We’ve done all this before. Unstoppable, unbeatable, unamused!

Randy Orton: And for that matter, undefeated. We never got beat for these titles the first time. We had to vacate them because I was hurt. Edge went on to defend them with the Miz, which we won't talk about. But the fact of the matter is that Rated RKO would be in the 9th year of their title reign if I hadn't got hurt. That's just an indisputable fact. And for all of my bluster, you know that there's some glimmer of truth to that. Who has been able to prove that they can hang with Rated RKO? Certainly no one that has been around in the last couple of years. Definitely not Rey Mysterio and Eddie's kid.

Edge: So tonight, Dominik, we want you to put your daddy on your back. Literally and figuratively. We want you to walk him down the ramp so he doesn’t blow out a knee. No excuses.

Randy Orton: Once he gets into the ring though? No guarantees. You might have to wheel him out when we're done with him. But when we do, Dominik, I want you to go back to your locker room and pull up the video of this promo and take notes.

Edge: Then play back some Rated RKO matches and take notes.

Randy Orton: Matter of fact, anyone that isn't your Dad? Take notes. Because you have been following around quite possibly the worst example that exists in the company. A guy that got here after a billion year sabbatical, reinvents himself by wearing Old Navy clothes, and then loses his one shot at the World title.

Edge: Could you say he missed his chance to blow?

Randy Orton: You're going to ride those 8-Mile references into the ground, aren't you?

Edge: Opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

Edge wiggled his eyebrows.

Edge: Your dad looks like Eminem’s dad. Is what I’m saying, Dominik.

Randy Orton: And since we're talking about Rey, let's address him directly. Hey, Rey.

Randy waved half heartedly to the camera.

Randy Orton: You've built yourself quite an unremarkable next chapter of your career here in EBWF, haven't you? You came to this company with this grand idea of changing up your threads, taking off the mask, and embracing your more sinister side. Didn't really go your way, did it? Don't worry, old man. I'm going to tell you exactly where you went wrong. In the process of embracing that sinister side of yourself, you decided that your first target would be THE most sinister guy in the building. Made the thing you had going on look a little lame by comparison. But instead of learning from your mistake, not only did you decide to make the same mistake twice, but now you're coming after my tag team partner. The one guy that could give me a run for my money.

Edge: You’ve gone wrong where a lot of people go wrong, Rey. The mistaken idea that you can find your opportunities with Rated RKO. That just because Randy Orton is now a living legend, he’s no longer the Legend Killer. That just because I’ve done it all, and seen it all, I’m no longer The Ultimate Opportunist. We said it last week, and let me reiterate it to you now. You’re a legend who should have hung up his boots before he tarnished his reputation, and your kid’s a never-was who is looking to make his opportunities against the best in the business. You have to know that’s a recipe for disaster. You have to know that we’re the absolute worst opponents you could be bringing your kid in to face. In a TLC4 match. For our championships. Is your thirst for gold, and your desire to stay relevant overriding the fatherly instinct to protect your kid? You’re bringing a rookie to a veteran fight, Rey. The three of us have nearly 70 years of wrestling experience combined and you’re bringing us a kid who has had five matches?

Randy Orton: When he tells you he’s nervous, Rey. You should know he means he’s scared. Scared because he already knows that I’m going to RKO his dad right in front of him and there isn’t a damn thing he can do about it. Scared that will mean you’ll have to tag him in, at which point my partner will spear him within an inch of his life. He’ll be walking away with one of the most bitter losses he’s faced at such a tender age. Don’t worry, Dominik. We can’t all be winning world championships at 24. Would make it less special.

Edge: And we can’t all be tag champions in EBWF. You and every other tag team in the locker room, every other tag team rumored to be on their way here, every other tag team in the world better take notes on that. We aren’t bad guys, Dominik. We aren’t particularly good guys either. But what I can tell you, is that on a scale of universally beloved to loathed entirely… nobody likes your dad. He went from being the face of a wrestling movement to a farce. We’re almost sorry to hand you this loss.

Randy Orton: After tonight, Rey, Dominik will have to learn how to be his own man.

Edge: And we promise, Rey, we’ll only really hurt him if we have to, but I have a feeling that watching his old man have the last shred of dignity beat out of him is going to be far more damaging than any beating we can give him.

Randy Orton: We’ll bring the belts. You bring the ladders.

Edge smiled, suddenly changing intensity.

Edge: And you bring the cookies and milk, Renee. We’re going to be absolutely famished when we’re done!

Edge winked at her and Rated RKO could be heard chuckling as they walked off and the scene faded to black.
Image