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Warfare Results 05/02/2022

Posted: Thu May 05, 2022 4:13 pm
by Ben M
MATCH ONE

Mauro Ranallo: Get ready folks… it’s time for Warfare!

The arena lights turned red and the crowd cheered as Kane made his way to the ring.

Nigel McGuinness: Kicking things off tonight, we’ve got the Big Red Machine in action as he goes one on one with Prince Devitt!

Mauro Ranallo: Kane has been staking a claim for King Xavier’s Breakout Championship, but how will he fare tonight against the leader of the Bullet Club?

Upon entering the ring, Kane raised his arms up and brought them back down swiftly, causing fire to shoot up from the turnbuckles. He then began pacing back and forth as he awaited the arrival of his opponent. “You’re the Best” by Joe Esposito hit and the crowd booed as Prince Devitt stepped through the curtain. Devitt took his time walking down the ramp, but as he entered the ring he immediately charged towards Kane, hitting him with a series of punches. Kane fought back with some right hands of his own as the referee called for the bell. Kane whipped Devitt against the ropes and went for a big boot, but Devitt ducked underneath it, ran against the opposing set of ropes, then took Kane down with a slingblade. As Kane sat up, Devitt hit him with a low dropkick, then followed up with a double foot stomp. He hooked the leg and the referee counted - 1… Kane kicked out before the referee could count 2!

Nigel McGuinness: Impressive resilience there by Kane!

Both men got to their feet and Devitt tried to whip Kane into the corner, but Kane blocked it, then pulled Devitt towards him and hit a European uppercut. As Devitt staggered backwards, Kane grabbed him, lifting him up in the air and hitting a military press drop. Kane followed up with a leg drop and hooked the leg. The referee counted - 1… 2… Devitt kicked out! Kane pulled Devitt to his feet and set him up for the Tombstone Piledriver… but Devitt countered it into a reverse DDT! Devitt then climbed to the top rope and signaled for the Coup de Grace, but before he could hit it, Kane got to his feet and grabbed Devitt by the throat, Chokeslamming him off the top turnbuckle! He hooked the leg and the referee counted - 1… 2… 3!

Mauro Ranallo: It’s over! Kane gets the victory!

Kane celebrated, then made his way to the back as Warfare went to a commercial break.

SEGMENT

The sound of breaking glass echoed throughout the arena, but was quickly replaced by Better Than You, much to the chagrin of those in attendance. Maxwell Jacob Friedman stepped out from behind the curtain onto the stage, flanked by Ace Austin and KC Navarro. The trio made their way down the ramp, exchanging jibes with some of the fans that clearly had more money than sense, having forked out for ringside seats despite only one member of The Dynasty being on the card. They entered the ring and MJF took the microphone from Christy Hemme.

MJF: Cut my music, cut my music! Did you think that was going to be Stone Cold? I assure you, you won’t be hearing from him for quite some time. You see, Steve Austin is a very proud man, and last week I critically wounded his pride when I humiliated him in his own choice of match by making him tap out in front of everybody. That’s going to take some time for his ego to recover from. No, that glass breaking was not Stone Cold making an entrance, that was the sound of Maxwell Jacob Friedman shattering the glass ceiling that EBWF management had installed when I arrived here. You see, as a Jewish wrestler, and let’s face it, generally being of a higher socioeconomic class than the majority of the “talent” on the roster, this promotion has fostered a culture of institutional racism, classism, antisemitism and, quite simply, systemic bias against myself and anybody associated with me. Where are all of my allies?! Where are the SJWs and keyboard warriors when it’s poor MJF that needs defending?! When the higher ups threw Stone Cold into my path to try and stop me, I gave up waiting for you people out there to do the right thing and speak up for the victim. I took things into my own hands and drove straight over him like an inconvenient speed bump. No wait, a speed bump is too classy for Austin, I drove over him like roadkill. Whoa, can the human garbage up in the nosebleeds calm down, the roadkill is metaphorical, you’re still not going to eat tonight.

The crowd booed loudly, and MJF paused for a moment, eating up the boos before continuing.

MJF: Speaking of human garbage, HELLO FLORIDA! Did you know that on this day in 2019, a Floridian man wearing a flowery dress and baby bonnet, riding a motorized cart, stole 28 cans of baby formula. It’s true, Google it. Only in Florida, huh? Even your crazy criminals are fat, lazy assholes afraid of doing any exercise. Actually, looking out at the crowd…was that you in 2019? I mean, you’ve lost the bonnet and dress, but you kept the horrific fashion sense and obesity. No? Maybe it was your wife. Hey, calm down big guy, you don’t want to cross that safety barrier. Over on that side is safe, but over here, I’ll just kick your ass. Or maybe I’ll ask Ace or KC to kick it for me. Or maybe I’ll… Send Hook!

"The Chairman's Intent" by Action Bronson hit, and MJF feigned acting scared while Ace Austin and KC Navarro laughed.

Mauro Ranallo: MJF trying to troll these fans once again... what a despicable human being he is.

After 30 seconds or so, MJF stopped pretending to be afraid and spoke into his microphone.

MJF: Alright Richard that's enough, cut that music.

Despite MJF's request, the music kept on playing.

MJF: I said en...

MJF stopped speaking suddenly as HOOK stepped out onto the stage. The crowd went wild, and MJF looked scared again, but this time he wasn't faking it. Hook began walking down the ramp, and MJF stepped back towards the edge of the ring, getting as far away from Hook as possible. As Hook reached the bottom of the ramp, KC Navarro exited the ring and tried to attack Hook, but Hook grabbed him and hit an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, launching KC up the ramp! Hook then entered the ring, and MJF made a swift exit through the crowd. Hook locked eyes with Ace Austin, daring him to make a move. Ace did so, running at Hook and going for a clothesline... but Hook ducked out of the way and grabbed Ace from behind, locking in Red Rum! After choking Ace out, Hook got to his feet and exited the ring. As Hook made his way back up the ramp, his father Taz stepped out onto the stage, holding a microphone.

Taz: Hey Maxwell... be careful what you wish for, punk! You sent for Hook, and so did Wes Ikeda. I don't want to talk numbers, but let's just say he made us an offer we couldn't refuse. The King of the Ring tournament starts next week, and Hook is going to be in that tournament. So EBWF, consider this a warning. Hook is going to win King of the Ring, and if you stand in his way, you'll get choked out!

Hook and Taz walked back through the curtain as Warfare went to a commercial break.

MATCH TWO

As Warfare returned from the commercial break, Jade Cargill was on her way to the ring, accompanied by Richard Holliday.

Mauro Ranallo: Welcome back! Up next, we’ve got women’s action as Jade Cargill goes one on one with Liv Morgan!

When Jade was in the ring, “Faint” by Linkin Park hit and Liv Morgan headed to the ring, accompanied by Alexa Bliss. Once Liv had entered the ring, the referee called for the bell. Liv ran at Jade, going for a clothesline, but Jade ducked out of the way, then turned around and hit Liv with a big boot. As Liv got to her feet, Jade went to whip her into the corner, but Liv reversed it, sending Jade into the corner. Liv then ran at Jade, hitting her with a single-leg dropkick. Jade fell to the mat and rolled out of the ring.

Nigel McGuinness: We’re used to seeing Jade Cargill overpower her opponents, but Liv Morgan is taking the fight to her in the early stages of this match!

Liv followed Jade to the outside and hit her with a series of punches, but Jade fought back with some right hands of her own then lifted Liv up, dropping her onto the edge of the ring! Liv cried out in pain, clutching her back. Jade rolled back into the ring and pulled Liv away from the ropes before hitting her with a leg drop and making the cover. The referee counted - 1… 2… Liv kicked out! Jade pulled Liv to her feet and threw her into the corner, then turned her back on her and hit a series of back elbows. As Liv stumbled out of the corner, Jade lifted her up, hitting a suplex. She hooked the leg and the referee counted - 1… 2… Liv kicked out!

Mauro Ranallo: There is that power from Jade Cargill we are used to seeing, but Liv Morgan isn’t going down easy!

As Liv kicked out, Jade sat her up and put her in a chinlock. Liv was able to get to her feet and she hit Jade with a series of elbows to the ribs, forcing her to break the hold. Liv then whipped Jade against the ropes, before taking Jade down with a Lou Thesz press. She punched Jade against the mat several times, then pulled her to her feet and hit an STO. She hooked the leg and the referee counted - 1… 2… Jade kicked out! Liv pulled Jade to her feet and set her up for ObLIVion, but Jade blocked it, countering with a backbreaker. Jade then lifted Liv up for Jaded… but Liv countered it into a rollup! She hooked both legs and the referee counted - 1… 2… 3!

Nigel McGuinness: I don’t believe it! Liv Morgan just stole a victory!

Liv rolled out of the ring and celebrated with Alexa Bliss as Jade Cargill and Richard Holliday argued with the referee.

MATCH THREE

Mauro Ranallo: Up next, we’ve got the Breakout Champion Xavier Woods in action as he goes one on one with Angelico!

Angelico made his way to the ring first, followed by Xavier. When they were both in the ring, the referee called for the bell and the two men locked up. Angelico grabbed Xavier by the arm and applied an arm twist, but Xavier countered it, rolling forwards to break free then twisting Angelico’s arm. Xavier then set Angelico up for a bulldog, but Angelico blocked it, then whipped Xavier against the ropes before hitting an arm drag. As Xavier got to his feet, Angelico set him up for a northern lights suplex, but Xavier countered with a DDT then hooked the leg. The referee counted - 1… 2… Angelico kicked out!

Nigel McGuinness: Great back and forth action thus far!

As both men got to their feet, Xavier whipped Angelico against the ropes, then hit him with a spinning forearm smash. Angelico moved into the corner, and Xavier ran towards him, going for a clothesline, but Angelico reacted quickly, grabbing Xavier and hitting a reverse STO into the middle turnbuckle! Angelico then pulled Xavier away from the ropes and hooked the leg. The referee counted - 1… 2… Xavier kicked out! Angelico turned Xavier over, putting him in an STF, but Xavier was able to get to the ropes. The referee told Angelico to break the hold, but Angelico kept it locked in! The referee began counting - 1… 2… 3… 4… Angelico released Xavier just before the count of 5, and got to his feet. The crowd began booing, which seemed to amuse Angelico. After taunting the crowd, he turned his attention back to Xavier, setting him up for a full nelson backbreaker, but Xavier blocked it and hit a snapmare, then as Angelico sat up, he followed up with a low dropkick to the back. Xavier then dragged Angelico to his feet and hit him with a series of punches in quick succession.

Mauro Ranallo: We’re seeing a lot of aggression here by Xavier Woods… he seems to have become more aggressive these past few weeks!

Nigel McGuinness: I think Adam Cole and Kane have got in his head, Mauro!

After hitting Angelico with a snap suplex, Xavier hit the Honor Roll then hooked the leg. The referee counted - 1… 2… Angelico kicked out! Xavier pulled Angelico to his feet and hit him with some more right hands, then whipped him into the corner. Xavier ran at Angelico, going for a flying forearm smash, but Angelico got his foot up and blocked it, kicking Xavier in the face. Angelico then grabbed Xavier and lifted him up, running across the ring and hitting a crucifix powerbomb into the turnbuckles!

Mauro Ranallo: Fall of the Angels!

Xavier seemed to be in a lot of pain, and Angelico went to make the cover, then shook his head and grabbed Xavier by the legs, putting him in the Navarro Death Roll! Xavier was unable to get to the ropes and he tapped out.

Nigel McGuinness: What a victory for Angelico! He might have just put himself in contention for a shot at the Breakout Championship!

Mauro Ranallo: He might have to wait a while, Nigel… I’ve just been informed that the King of the Ring tournament starts next week! And in the opening match, Angelico’s tag team partner Jack Evans will be in action against Samoa Joe!

Angelico celebrated as a match graphic came up advertising Jack Evans versus Samoa Joe.

MATCH FOUR

Mauro Ranallo: It’s time for our main event! Thunder Rosa makes her EBWF debut as she teams up with Shaul Guerrero to take on Leva Bates and the EBWF Women’s Champion, Britt Baker!

THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU NOW

“The Epic” by Downstait hit and the crowd gave a mixed reaction as Britt Baker and Leva Bates made their way to the ring. When Baker and Bates were in the ring, “Joy” by Santana and Chris Stapleton hit and the crowd cheered as Shaul Guerrero stepped out onto the stage. Shaul stood at the top of the ramp, then “Blood and Glory” hit and after Thunder Rosa had walked through the curtain, the two women headed towards the ring. After entering the ring, Shaul moved onto the apron, allowing Thunder Rosa to start the match. Rosa pointed at Britt Baker, but Baker shook her head and exited the ring. She shouted words of encouragement to Leva Bates, and as the bell rang Bates and Rosa began circling one another. The two women locked up and Bates put Rosa in a headlock, but Rosa fought out of it, dragging Bates to the mat and putting her in the crossface! Bates was able to get her foot on the ropes, and the referee ordered Thunder Rosa to break the hold.

Nigel McGuinness: Smart strategy by Leva Bates there she quickly got her foot on the ropes before Thunder Rosa could do much damage.

Both women got to their feet and began exchanging punches. Rosa was able to get the upper hand, and after hitting Bates with a series of punches in quick succession she whipped her against the ropes before hitting a shoulder block. As Leva got to her feet, Rosa hit a snap suplex then hooked the leg. The referee counted - 1… 2… Bates kicked out! Rosa got to her feet and tagged in Shaul Guerrero. Upon entering the ring, Shaul hit Bates with a headscissors takedown, causing her to land on the second rope. Shaul signaled for the 619 and ran against the ropes… but as she hit the ropes, Britt Baker caught her with a kick to the back! Baker’s intervention allowed Bates time to recover, and after hitting Shaul with a superkick she tagged in Britt Baker. As she entered the ring, Baker grabbed Shaul and hit her with a series of knees to the midsection, before hitting a DDT. She hooked the leg and the referee counted - 1… 2… Shaul kicked out! As she got to her feet, Baker gave Thunder Rosa the middle finger, then began stomping on Shaul repeatedly.

Mauro Ranallo: Britt Baker flipping Thunder Rosa the bird there, but notice how she has tried to avoid her throughout this match…

Nigel McGuinness: Can you blame her, Mauro? It’s like she said, Rosa will try and injure her, and as the face of the women’s division Britt Baker needs to protect herself.

Baker dragged Shaul towards the corner, then tagged in Leva Bates. Baker held Shaul in place while Bates entered the ring, allowing Bates to hit her with a stiff kick to the ribs. As Baker exited the ring, Bates took Shaul down with a snapmare, then grabbed her by the leg, applying a single leg Boston crab. Shaul was able to get to the ropes, and Bates broke the hold. As she did so, Britt Baker could be heard yelling “use the five count!” Bates nodded, then tried to drag Shaul away from the ropes, but Shaul kicked her away and got to her feet. Bates whipped Shaul into the corner, then went for a corner clothesline, but Shaul moved out of the way, causing Bates to collide with the turnbuckles! As Bates staggered backwards, Shaul climbed to the top rope, before hitting Bates with a diving crossbody! She hooked both legs and the referee counted - 1… 2… Bates kicked out! Both women got to their feet and Shaul whipped Bates against the ropes, then as Bates ran back towards Shaul, both women went for a clothesline, hitting each other simultaneously! Baker called for the tag, and Bates began crawling towards the corner. Shaul also crawled towards her corner, and as Bates tagged in Baker, Shaul Guerrero tagged in Thunder Rosa.

Mauro Ranallo: Here we go!

Baker and Rosa entered the ring and charged towards one another, exchanging right hands back and forth. Rosa gained the upper hand and she whipped Baker into the corner, then charged towards her, hitting a flying forearm smash. Baker fell into a sitting position and Rosa charged towards her once more, this time hitting a low dropkick. She pulled Baker to her feet and hit a double underhook suplex, then followed up with a running senton. She hooked the legs and the referee counted - 1… 2… Baker kicked out! Rosa pulled Baker to her feet and tried to set her up for the Fire Thunder Driver, but Baker countered it with a headscissors takedown! Both women got to their feet and Baker whipped Rosa against the ropes, then hit her with a slingblade. As Baker got to her feet, she tagged in Leva Bates, who grabbed Thunder Rosa and hit a bridging northern lights suplex. The referee counted - 1… 2… Rosa kicked out! Bates pulled Rosa to her feet and set her up for the Critical Confirmation, but Rosa blocked it and hit a stunner! She then tagged in Shaul Guerrero, who hit Bates with the Three Amigas! She hooked the leg and the referee counted - 1… 2… Britt Baker interrupted the count! The crowd booed, but their boos quickly turned to cheers as Thunder Rosa entered the ring, charging towards Baker and spearing her down to the mat before hitting her with a series of punches. As Baker and Rosa rolled out of the ring and continued their fight on the outside, Shaul turned Bates over and put her in the Lasso from El Paso! Bates quickly tapped out and the referee called for the bell.

Nigel McGuinness: It’s over! Shaul Guerrero gets the victory!

Rosa re-entered the ring and celebrated with Shaul, then the two women made their way up the ramp. Once they were halfway up the ramp, Britt Baker entered the ring to check on Leva Bates. She helped Bates to her feet… then hit her with a closed fist to the jaw!

Mauro Ranallo: What is Britt Baker doing?!

Baker punched Bates against the mat several times, then pulled out a black glove. She put the glove on, before putting Bates in the Lockjaw! The referee tried to force Baker to break the hold, but Baker held on tight. The camera cut to Shaul Guerrero, who was watching from the ramp. Shaul shook her head, then ran down the ramp to help Leva Bates! As soon as she entered the ring, Baker released Bates and quickly rolled out of the ring, grabbing her Women’s Championship from ringside. Baker held up the title and yelled at Shaul, “you’re not getting near this!” Shaul checked on Leva as Warfare went off the air.