Burn in Hell...or Texas...I mean, they're basically the same.

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TheDynasty
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Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2021 3:27 pm

Burn in Hell...or Texas...I mean, they're basically the same.

Post by TheDynasty »

Better Than You hit the speakers and a sea of ungrateful rednecks began to boo as MJF walked onto the stage wearing a Houston Texans jersey with the name Easterby and the number 1 on the back. The first ever MLW Middleweight Champion, former MLW Tag Team Champion, All-State Tenor 2, leader of the Acafellas, All State Middle Linebacker, and the next EBWF King Of The Ring - MJF, made his way down to the ring, as a bunch of mouth-breathing virgins shouted abuse from the ringside seats that they had paid to watch him from, probably because they were still salty that he banged every last one of their ringrat moms last night. He got into the ring and took a microphone.

MJF: Houston, Tex…

MJF gagged trying to get the word out.

MJF: Te…Tex…Come on Max, you can do this…Houston, Tex…ass. Close enough, I guess.

He shuddered, then directed his attention to a member of the audience.

MJF: Hey, lardass. You know what they say about Texas? “Everything’s bigger in Texas,” and my god do you prove them right. You know what else they say about Texas that you prove right? That you’re all anti-abortion and pro-incest. Let me guess, that grotesque personification of rump steak next to you is your wife? Your sister? Your mother? All of the above?

Houston, you know why they call Texas the Lone Star state? Because your only star was Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I’ve already pretty much put that heffer out to pasture. One saying about Texas is kinda true though. They say that “everything in Texas is best,” and I’ll grant you, that one has some truth to it. Well, until you drive up the I-35 to Oklahoma, where everything is better. Or better still, if you drive all the way to the most magical place in the world, Long Island, New York.


He smirked as the crowd booed ferociously.

MJF: But I’m not here to remind you that the Sooners kicked the Longhorns asses last year…and in 2020…and in 2019…I’m not here to remind you that Maxwell Jacob Friedman made Stone Cold Steve Austin cry like a baby in a barded wire match…I’m here to talk about that Big Red Retard Kane. You see, once again there was a “random draw,” and once again, The Dynasty got screwed. Okay, okay, maybe The Dynasty getting low numbers for Last Survivor was just a coincidence. But now, for the King of the Ring tournament, Holliday and KC are drawn against each other and I get Kane?! How many times do the “random draws” have to negatively impact us before people stop calling it a coincidence and start seeing it for what it truly is: a conspiracy against me and anyone associated with me.

But you know what Wes, it isn’t going to stop The Dynasty coming out of this tournament on top. Not because we still have Ace Austin and KC Navarro in the mix, but because we have me, and I’m the best all-round professional wrestler in the sport today. Sure, I can entertain these hicks on the stick, but I can also go toe-to-toe with anyone in that locker room in the ring, because I am a wrestling prodigy. When this company had fallen on its ass, relying on the “superstars” of yesteryear, you prayed to the wrestling gods, and they heard your prayer, Wes. They sent you my signature on one of your ever-so-lucrative contracts and had me turn up on your doorstep. I assembled my disciples, like that fraud in these people’s storybook, and we came to educate these dumb, stupid, slow people about what “rasslin’” really is.

Only, you’re not letting me do that, are you Wes? You won’t let me wrestle an actual wrestling match in this place, because then these schmucks will see what they’ve been missing. Instead, you have me fight in barbed wire matches, or in elimination chambers. Or when it is a straight up match, you don’t have me against a wrestler, you have me against a 55-year old, 7-foot high beast that doesn’t know a headlock takeover from a Texas cloverleaf.

Well Kane we just saw Hook’s wrestling lesson, and tonight I’m gonna teach you a thing or two about wrestling also. You see, I believe in sharing my knowledge and experience, I’m salt of the earth. Tonight I’m going to teach you about submissions, and when I lock in the armbar, you’re going to quit quicker than people reached for the remote control when they heard the name Katie Vick, because my name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman, and I’m better than you…and you know it.


Better Than You hit the speakers once again as MJF dropped the microphone and headed towards the back to change.
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