I didn't realise you were such a fan

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TheDynasty
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2021 3:27 pm

I didn't realise you were such a fan

Post by TheDynasty »

The sound of a heartbeat echoes throughout the arena, as an orange and black number 13 pulses on the tron. The sound of a heart monitor beeping begins to play over it, before flatlining, as all the lights in the arena go out…before Better Than You hits the speakers and the arena collectively groans. Maxwell Jacob Friedman, Destroyer of Austin and Slayer of Kane, makes his entrance, wearing a bright orange suit with black trim and a black pocket square over a black shirt. He has a Burberry checked towel draped over his head, with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. He heads down the ramp and gets into the ring, grabbing a microphone.

MJF: What’s up, Shitcinnati? Because I know it isn’t FC Cincinnati’s league position. What? People don’t care about soccer? It could be worse, I could be talking about lacrosse, am I right? What kind of dorky loser plays lacrosse instead of football? Certainly not this All State middle linebacker who broke the high school record for most tackles. But luckily for all of you, I gave up on my illustrious footballing future to become a pro wrestler at Create A Pro, just like Hook (he pauses for cheers). But unlike Hook, I didn’t have to commute to the school, because unlike Hook, I’m from the most magical place on Earth, LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK. Oh, wait a minute…so is Hook. You see, whereas I wear that LI badge on my sleeve, proud of my roots and upbringing…Hook tries to convince everybody that he’s a tough guy from the streets of Brooklyn, just like his pops. Don’t be fooled Shitcinnati, Tyler’s just as privileged as me. Do you think that he lived a hard life when his daddy was making the kind of big money he’s trying to criticize me for targeting? Do you think that tough street kids play Lacrosse in Nassau County? I know you’re all dumb, overweight, unemployed, ugly schmucks…but you don’t need to add gullible to that list.

Not long ago, we saw Hook, I say saw rather than heard, but I’ll come back round to that, while daddy dearest talked some trash about me. Or at least I think that’s what he was going for, I just heard that I was a charismatic showman that’s going to start a bidding war when my contract expires. If that’s the worst you have to say about me, I’d be happy to sign autographs for both of you when I’m done wiping the floor with your kid. Taz, you’re right, I don’t WANT TO BE a pro wrestler, I AM a pro wrestler. It’s in my blood and it always has been. I have no problem at all referring to myself as a pro wrestler. Maybe you’re getting me confused with the antisemite upstairs that decided to stop having his talent be the Best Wrestlers and start having them stand for nothing. You say the term “sports entertainer” like it’s a bad thing, but Taz, remind me which of us actually signed a deal with “the other company.” It wasn’t Hook, and it wasn’t me…yet…oh, that’s right, it was you. The “extreme” legend that went from Sabu breaking your neck to Jim Ross breaking a candy jar. Go on, please keep talking about how I’M the sellout.

You say that I talk all the time, well somebody has to, because your son sure as hell won’t. That’s the only reason you’re here right? To be his mouthpiece? The guy’s a worse interview than Jade, and as much as I respect her in-ring ability, that’s saying something – just ask Holliday! But you see Taz, as right as you are about my ability on the stick, and you are 100% correct about that, you’re woefully underestimating my ability in the ring. Don’t worry, you aren’t the first, but you see, as you pointed out, those guys that trained Hook – Myers and Pat – they also trained me. Everything they taught him, they taught me, only I have experience on my side too. I was wrestling back when Tyler was still playing Lacrosse. Sure, he got to learn from the “suplex machine,” but I got to learn from the “suplex assassin.” I am a prodigy, a generational talent. I tick all of the boxes. Like your ECW buddy RVD, I am the whole fucking show, and UNlike Lex Luger, I am TRULY the total package.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that Hook will be a star of the future, Create A Pro is a fine wrestling school, I mean, they must be, they created me. But he doesn’t have the experience or intelligence that I do, and I fully intend to expose that…oh, sorry Taz, maybe I shouldn’t use the word expose around you. After all, I’m not a teenage girl. I will HIGHLIGHT his lack of experience and intelligence during our match at Warfare. Highlight should be safe to say right? It was a tanning salon, not a hair salon, so highlight should be okay. It’s incredibly apt that I’ll be facing the son of an icon of E-C-dub, because he’ll be taking a hard L (he makes an L with his thumb and index finger) while I take the Ea-sy-dub (he mirrors the gesture with his other hand and bring them together to form a W). Because I’m Maxwell Jacob Friedman, and I’m better than Hook, and you know it.

Better Than You hits again as MJF makes his way to the back to change into his wrestling gear.
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