That's On You

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Ashlee
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That's On You

Post by Ashlee »

Society Detroit was full of EBWF fans and guests. Adam Copeland sat in a corner booth, watching as Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson stepped off the stage and dance music picked up for the crowd. It had already been a long weekend. In the last two days, Adam had spent over 13 hours signing autographs. That didn’t include all of his other public appearances in support of EBWF. He didn’t mind it, and it had mostly gone off without an issue. Adam nursed his drink as Trish returned to their table.

Trish Stratus: Randy and Nicole leave?

Adam raised his glass and pointed it toward the dance floor. Trish’s eyes followed his gesture and found the Ortons swaying together to the beat of the hip hop song playing.

Trish Stratus: They’re still cute.

Adam took her hand as she tugged at her dress and sat down carefully.

Trish Stratus: With Randy not working tomorrow night, I thought they’d be on their way back home.

Adam shook his head.

Adam Copeland: They might go home in the morning, but as for tonight, Randy will probably leave when I do.

Trish Stratus: Are you feeling okay about tomorrow? Have you heard anything?

Adam Copeland: No, nothing. Nothing except I’m expected to show up and carry another mediocre champion to a great match.

Trish Stratus: I mean, Adam, he’s not untalented.

Adam Copeland: No, he’s a fine wrestler. He’s just a disrespectful chump.

Trish nodded, contemplating.

Trish Stratus: Because he’s not recognizing your contributions to the business?

Adam Copeland: And because he’s running his mouth about shit he doesn’t know about.

Trish Stratus: And you’re taking that personally because…

Adam Copeland: Because I think he knows better.

Trish Stratus: Interesting observation…

Before Trish could continue, the frame of a man blocked their view of the dance floor. Adam looked up at the unknown man.

Unknown Patron: Yo, AC when you lose tomorrow night the one with excuses will be you!

Adam Copeland: What the f-

The man’s arm moved forward. Trish couldn’t see what he had in hand, and she let out a loud screech in fear. Adam stood up quickly. He moved in front of her, the table inching forward as the drink in the man’s hand splashed all over Adam and Trish.

Adam Copeland: You motherfu-

Before Adam could even finish the man fell forward. His torso landed flat against the table with a thud. The table shook under his weight, and the parties on either side abandoned their tables to look on from a distance. Randy stood above the man, painfully wrenching his arm behind his back as he squirmed trying to find relief. Adam felt Trish move from behind him, as Nicole snuck to her side and pulled her out of the corner booth.

Randy Orton: Who the hell are you?

Adam Copeland: I was just wondering the same thing.

Unknown Patron: Let me go man!

Randy chuckled.

Randy Orton: Oh, he’s just an idiot.

Randy wrenched his arm further, and looked up at Adam.

Randy Orton: You okay?

Adam Copeland: Other than the fact that I smell like gin.

Unknown Patron: Let me go!

Randy Orton: Oh, that's bad news for you. He hates gin.

Unknown Patron: I’m sorry, man! Ok?

Randy grabbed the guy by the hair and lifted his head so his face was showing.

Adam Copeland: But more than hating gin? I can kind of laugh when an idiot throws a drink on me, but turns out you hit Trish too.

Randy Orton: : We really don’t like that.

Unknown Patron: I didn’t mean to hit your girl!

Randy Orton: And now with the misogynistic ownership and sexism.

Randy turned the man’s wrist uncomfortably.

Adam Copeland: We really don’t like that.

Randy pulled the man up so he was standing a bit taller. The man tried to jerk away from Randy only to find that hurt his arm even more. He cried out. Edge pointed toward Trish, who was standing next to Nicole. Adam could tell that Nicole was about to tell them to knock it off so he stepped in.

Adam Copeland: Apologize to her.

Unknown Patron: I’m sorry, god!

Randy growled.

Randy Orton: Like. you. mean. it.

Randy pulled the guy’s hair a little more, and he took a deep breath. Adam saw the bouncers approaching behind Randy and his eyes darted to quickly assess the situation. He determined that none of these bouncers were going to be dumb enough to lay hands on Wes Ikeda’s brother-in-law tonight. The idiot with the numb arm gritted his teeth through his discomfort.

Unknown Patron: Ma’am, I’m very sorry for throwing a drink on you.

Trish’s voice quivered a bit.

Trish Stratus: Thank you for your apology.

Randy pushed him toward the ground, right into the waiting arms of the bouncers.

Randy Orton: Get him the hell out of here.

Adam leaned over the table to look down at the man.

Adam Copeland: And next time you decide you want to boss up for Xavier Woods, make damn sure I don’t have backup. Dumbass.

The bouncers dragged the guy away, and Randy smirked.

Randy Orton: You could have taken him.

Adam Copeland: And bruise my knuckles before my big fight?

He turned to Trish.

Adam Copeland: I know you’re hosting this thing, but this is the part where Randy and I should probably go. Think you can get out of here?

She nodded.

Trish Stratus: I think I’m starting to understand why one of you stays until the other one leaves.

Randy Orton: I can’t believe that even his fans run their mouths about things they don’t know.

He looked at Trish.

Randy Orton: You okay?

Trish Stratus: : A little shaken up, but yes. Sorry.

Randy jerked his head toward Adam.

Randy Orton: I’m used to him.

Randy heard Nicole say something to Trish about getting into some dried clothes, and he and Adam fell into step behind them as they made their way toward the exit. Randy could tell Adam was pretending not to be tense.

Randy Orton: Don’t go there in your head.

Adam Copeland: Shut up.

Randy Orton: No use wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t been here, because I was here.

Adam Copeland: I want to kill Xavier Woods.

Randy Orton: Even he wouldn’t condone that.

Adam Copeland: Oh, he encourages this basement incel gamer culture. I’ve seen his stupid video game show.

Randy Orton: I’m gonna go ahead and let you channel that misplaced anger, Adam.

Adam glared at Randy, causing him to laugh. Randy clasped him on the shoulder as they left the club.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


The world was watching Edge’s recorded exclusive on Youtube. The former EBWF champion was in the training room of the Detroit Lions. He was seated on a weight bench, a pullup bar in clear view behind him. He ran his hands through his shorn hair and let out a deep sigh before looking directly down the lens.

Edge: I’ve been hearing a lot about how my actions of late aren’t like me.

He shook his head.

Edge: Like you’ve forgotten who the hell I am.

He chuckled.

Edge: I’ll admit it. The last few years it’s been all Adam showing up to work. Having a good time with my friends, putting on banger after banger. Enjoying the light left and the heavy paychecks. And the minute… the very second… I look out for my own self interests every last one of these ungrateful fans turned on me.

He glared into the camera.

Edge: It didn’t matter that I’ve been called a comedy routine, a nostalgia act. It didn’t matter that I’ve read every dirt sheet, every message board, and heard everyone from Pat McAfee to Peter Rosenburg to Dave Meltzer to fucking Jim Cornette ask…

Edge put on a dramatic voice.

Edge: “Where’s the Ultimate Opportunist? Where’s the Master Manipulator? Where’s the Rated R Superstar?”

He chewed his bottom lip for a moment. The glare returned.

Edge: I gave him to you. I let him out. And you turned on me, like that!

He snapped his fingers, shifting uncomfortably. His frustration was clear.

Edge: How does the saying go? Your boos mean nothing. I’ve seen what makes you cheer!

He scratched his head, laughing menacingly.

Edge: What makes you cheer is a transitional champion, with a plastic crown and a halloween costume shop scepter. What makes you cheer is a man who doesn’t know enough about this company’s history to carry that belt with any pride. A man who knew I was coming, and didn’t have the balls to step up to me like a man. He waited for me to make the first move. And what? I made it behind his back and suddenly I’m the bad guy. I took that opportunity and you all forgot you’d been waiting for the Ultimate Opportunist. Spare me.

He waved off the camera as if he was shooing the audience away.

Edge: Yeah, yeah… for years you’ve all reacted to those magic words. They blare throughout the arena. “You Think You Know Me”. As time has gone on, those words have begun to mean less and less. They’re just the bell that causes the pavlovian response in all of you idiots. You’ve stopped thinking about what they really mean. Let me say something to Xavier Woods and all the EBWF Fans at home. You’ve never known me. You’ve never been able to predict what I’d do next. You just hoped it would fit your idea of what a good guy would do. I’ve never claimed to be a good guy.

He laughed.

Edge: No, see, that’s where you got me fucked up.

He cocked his eyebrow.

Edge: It’s Youtube. I can say that, right? Do you hear me, Xavier? You got me fucked up. You wanted the Rated PG-13 superstar. I can have my opportunities. I just can’t be too ambitious. Can’t forget to sprinkle a few jokes in there or make my self deprecating remarks about how Randy is better than me. Got to wiggle my eyebrows and pretend like I don’t know the difference between Ace Austin, Austin Gunn, and Steve Austin. Isn’t that right, Austin Creed or is it… Austin Watson?

Edge shrugged.

Edge: The point is… I know my Austins, but I’m good at what I do. And no one cares if I turn in my Gateway Championship and challenge for the EBWF World Championship as long as they can get their yucks while I’m doing it. X, have you even stopped to ask yourself why Randy didn’t bother facing you in that match a couple weeks ago? You didn’t, did you? .He no showed, and you didn’t say a word about the blatant disrespect. Is that the kind of man you are? Is that the kind of champion you are? You’re the EBWF World Champion and Randy Orton finds you so inconsequential that he didn’t even bother to show up.

He chuckled.

Edge: We’re tired of it, Woods! Rated RKO is forever. That’s a fact. We live rent free in that entire locker room’s head. And you were no better were you Woods? You played back that same old tape. You came in here with the same old bullshit. I’m tap dancing on your very last nerve and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it!

Edge scratched his chin.

Edge: EBWF has been here for 21 years. I’ve been here for most of them, and believe me I’ve heard enough old man jokes to fill a Buzzfeed Listicle. I’ve also sat through enough EBWF World Title reigns to wonder…

One corner of Edge’s mouth lifted in a smile.

Edge: When history reflects on your title reign what will you be remembered for? Beating Bray Wyatt and…

He counted on his fingers, making a big show of trying to add it all up.

Edge: …oh, that… yeah, that covers it. You worked so hard to become EBWF World Champion. You held the Breakout Champion for far longer than was necessary. Won the King of the Ring to try to add some legitimacy to this ridiculous gimmick. Just to have one of the most forgettable reigns in recent memory. Just to get dressed down by Edge. If I wasn’t about to become EBWF World Champion, I’d be embarrassed for you.

He grinned again.

Edge: I was biding my time to cash in the Gateway Championship. Not because I was waiting for an easy win, but because I was waiting for a pretender. Some people call what you did manifesting. I call it a lack of authenticity. Your fake royal title, the costume. You tried to legitimize all of it with the EBWF World Championship and I think that cheapens what that title is about. If I have to resort to underhanded tactics to restore its former glory then that’s what I’ll do. And I’ll leave a trail of blood and broken bodies to do it, Xavier. I’ll remind you, everyone in the back, everyone in the seats, everyone at home that they have never quite known me. Whatever they think I’m capable of? Oh, it’s so much worse than all that. There is no end to what I’m willing to do to win, to become champion again, to expose, delegitimize, deauthenticate, END YOU.

Edge peered into the camera.

Edge: I know what you all want. You want me to be sorry that it’s come to this. I’m not. I’m a master manipulator. I’m the ultimate opportunist. I will do whatever it takes. I will resort to the lowest of lows to walk away as champion at Fanniversary. That’s on me. You all want to cheer me. You all want me to be the good guy when I’ve never claimed to be. That’s. on. you.

He leaned forward.

Edge: Enjoy this weekend, Xavier. Enjoy the events.The adulation of the fans. The suite. The main event. Enjoy your final hours as champion. Live with the knowledge that you’ve already failed this challenge. And know that it was your hubris, your arrogance, your audacity that brought this out of me. The boos tell me I’m doing it right. The headline will read, “Edge Ends King Xavier’s Reign” and Fanniversary will end with two words…

Edge’s smirk returned.

Edge: And New…

Edge reached out and pushed the camera away as the YouTube Exclusive ended with a confident Edge intent on winning at Fanniversary.
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