Hide the scissors

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TheDynasty
Posts: 59
Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2021 3:27 pm

Hide the scissors

Post by TheDynasty »

MJF was shown storming through the backstage area, looking less than happy. He spotted Alex Marvez, who quickly turned and walked in the opposite direction.

MJF: Don’t run from me, Alex, get your disgusting obese ass over here…I have a question for you, Marvez. Do I, Maxwell Jacob Friedman, look like an outlaw mud show wrestler to you?

Alex Marvez: I wouldn’t say you…

MJF: I don’t really care about your opinion, Marvez, I’m not. If you don’t believe me about that, go ask Jim Cornette. He can tell you that I am a pro wrestling prodigy, and that nobody on this planet even comes close to me, whether that’s on the stick, in the ring or as a ratings draw. Any segment with yours truly moves needles faster than Hulk Hogan in an early-90s locker room. So I have to ask myself, once again, why EBWF management has such a problem with me. If I recall correctly, the last time I was in that ring, I beat Dick Starks 1-2-3 in the middle of it. And this week, I’m booked against…

MJF took the microphone from Alex Marvez and held it upside down, lowering it to his face.

MJF: Miiiiiiissssssssssstteeeeeeerrrrrrrr…Annderrrssooooonnnnnnnn….

Alex Marvez: Actually, your opponent…

MJF put a finger up to silence Alex.

MJF: …Annnderrrssoooooooonnnnnnn.

Alex Marvez: Your opponent isn’t Mr Anderson, well it is, but not that one. You’re against Brock Anderson.

MJF: Actually Alex, you’re right. My opponent isn’t Mr Anderson. When I saw the card, I thought to myself, “how humiliating must it be to know that the only reason you’ve gotten anywhere in this business is because of your last name, and to know that it isn’t even your real last name?” Personally, I’m not sure I could show my face in an arena with that knowledge, hell, if I looked like Brock, I’m not sure I’d show my face anywhere.

Alex Marvez: Don’t you think that Brock has shown in his short time here that he’s earned his spot on the roster?

MJF: Don’t be stupid, Marvez. There isn’t a person in this building that doesn’t know Brock is only here as an act of nepotism. He even alluded to it himself when he mentioned how he’d grown up around this business. Well Brock, I hate to break it to you, but growing up around something doesn’t mean you’re knowledgeable. Your dad had plenty of experience around hookers, booze and blow, but it still didn’t teach him to wear a condom and spare the EBWF audience the snooze-fests you call matches. I mean, you grew up around Arn Anderson, so did that teach you how to be a functioning alcoholic? Did Tully teach you how to fail a cocaine test? Did growing up around Ric Flair teach you how to be a sex pest? And on the topic of Ric Flair, how dare you insinuate that I’d want to be like him or Harley Race. Why would I look up to southern wrestlers when I’m from the greatest state of all, New York? We had true legends, people like Gorilla Monsoon, Brian Myers, Disco Inferno and the greatest WCW champion of all time, Vincent James Russo! After saying that, I should probably avoid Cornette’s podcast this week. Growing up as Arn’s kid must have been an interesting experience though. When your school had parent-teacher conferences, did they hide the scissors?

Alex Marvez: Brock has been trying to set the tone for his time in EBWF, letting the fans know what to expect and delivering in the ring so far, so do…

MJF put his finger up to silence Alex again, before waving his hand to shoo him away. Alex retreated a few steps to give MJF some space.

MJF: Brock, you talk all about setting the tone, but so far your tone seems to be beige. You’ve spent your entire career in the shadow of the guy in Ric Flair’s shadow. These people don’t know whether to cheer or boo you. Maybe you’ll say that’s you being smart for the modern fan, being a tweener as the marks call it, but the truth is that the fans don’t cheer or boo you because nobody gives a damn about you. I know that every time I walk onto that stage, these people are going to boo me. That doesn’t bother me. That just shows I’m doing my job well, and the people are paying to see me whether they love me or hate me. With you, there’s always going to be that niggling feeling before you make your entrance. You’re always going to worry that you’ll be walking out to silence, because you were right, this isn’t the territories. These are the days of sports entertainment. Larger than life characters, full of charisma and Hollywood good-looks, are the ones that rule supreme. And let’s face it, with the “Anderson” genes, neither of those things are working in your favor. Hollywood aren’t gonna be calling the Anderson residence anytime soon, well, unless they’re in the market for a live-action version of The Croods. And in terms of charisma…you make an actual rock seem like Dwayne.

You seem to have this ill-conceived notion that this is going to be a battle to determine who the dirtiest player in the game is, but you couldn’t be more wrong. I will admit that at times I can get a little creative in the ring, a little flexible with the rules, but that’s when I’m facing a challenge. Brock, you’re no challenge for me. I can comfortably beat you without so much as breaking a sweat. You see Brock, I have this move called the Salt of the Earth, and it’s made many grown men – and Christian Cage – cry. And when I lock your arm into it, I’m going to ruin your arm so badly that Old Man Arn’s will look as mobile as the home you probably grew up in. I’m sorry for having to make guesses about your upbringing, I usually do my homework on my opponents and look into their history, but guess what Brock? You don’t have any history, at least not of your own. Your entire legacy is being Arn’s lesser talented, uncharismatic son, and of course to being just another name in the long list of opponents MJF will have defeated. Because my name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman, and I’m better than you, and you know it.


MJF threw the microphone at Alex Marvez before stepping out of the shot.
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