Lapalissade

[NeoBiishikiGun]

The screen is on. The imagery of lavish gardens instantly signal who might the EBWF faithful hear from now. And between many roses and tulips and many flowers alike, we find the Rose of Versailles sit in her trademark throne of roses, wearing a fur coat and staring into the camera with condescending eyes.

Sakisama:“ My children of EBWF, if you have been observant enough to be worthy of my spring, then you can easily realize that I was supposed to be at the drab town they call Minnesota last week and my world heritage leather boots were supposed to leave their prints that could be compared to the finest artpieces in the disgusting face of one Allysin Kay. Even if you have been even less observant than I am willing to give you credit for, you could still realize that supposed affair … did not take place. Congratulations, we are making excellent strides in learning how to count to two.”

The condescension is not just in her eyes, as you can see.

Sakisama:“ Now, do we want to put the two and two together? Yes, I thought so as well.”

Yes, she is definitely feeling like talking down today. Who are we to question her, however?

Sakisama:“ From the very beginning of my tenure in EBWF, one thing I never did was lie to your faces. I told you a lot of things, made a lot of bold claims, even made some ugly mistakes along the way which would never be normally associated with a monument of perfection quite like your favourite mademoiselle, yes, myself! But, through all the glorious ups and shameful downs, I always took pride in being completely honest with everyone, regardless of their name or even their face. Beautiful ones and the ugly ones all heard the same things from me, which none of your favourite EBWF stars can claim to do so as well, be it your brutish men or your peasant women.”

Folks, where’s the lie?

Sakisama:“ I am, in all the ways of my existence, one and only. No woman like me has ever blessed EBWF before my herald, nor will anyone have the same impact that I have after my mission of eradicating ugliness within this company is over and I take my last bow in front of your would-be-enlightened eyes. It is a simple process, a path where the beginning and the end is written in the stars the moment I put this curious little company on my target.”

Her hands do a makeshift orb as she talks about putting EBWF on her radar, the orb probably signifying the world of EBWF in this case.

Sakisama:“ And my little, unpruned flowers, let me tell you as much, I don’t regret coming here. I don’t regret spreading my gospel, I don’t regret making adoring maids out of false queens … I don’t even regret playing significant parts in the tales of your folk heroes who managed to put down this primordial spring goddess for a moment just to grab their dreams. Because I very well know that their dreams exist within my reach, their tales only find meaning because of my presence and I know that at the end of the day, I am who I am and I will remain who I am, no matter who gets the lucky three count over me.”

If you think that she is making excuses for her losses, then your comprehension skills should be tested alongside your observation. Our Lady is spitting straight facts here.

Sakisama:“ But as your formerly vilified Crimson Queen would tell you, when I achieve my goals … I don’t leave what I come across in the same state that I found it. I shrug off my missteps but when someone missteps against me … oh, that’s when the fun begins.”

And a mischievous smirk decorates her beautiful lips.

Sakisama:“ However, I am simply not here to sing my praises like I often have to do because you lot tend to have the memory of a goldfish. I’m simply here to remind you of who I am.”

She does look like she’s going to have a lot of fun going through that reminding process..

Sakisama:“ Because if I don’t feel like kicking around an obnoxious false royal who thinks having one pinky up while drinking tea makes up for the fact that her face is staggeringly ugly on a certain unlucky day in a certain village of a town … then I fully reserve that right within my standings here in EBWF. I am the one who ended the darkness of Queen’s Court. I am the one who helped The Shining Star put away the leader of Oedo Tai. I am no Queen but let me tell you, I have to play the Queenmaker around this place quite often because none of my supposed competition even know their place in this ecosystem.”

This feels more like a rant now, but honestly, can you blame her after all the unseriousness she had to go through in her EBWF tenure?

Sakisama:“ And I am the one who, from the very beginning, have taken it upon myself as a personal crusade to put things where they belong.”

Damn straight.

Sakisama:“ That means, I have my privileges, like I have always had them in this life. Because I am beautiful. Because I am strong. I can crush thousands of ants beneath my feet with each step and it would not matter to me in the slightest. Just like how, in the grand scheme of things, you don’t matter to me either.”

I don’t matter ei- But my Lady? Okay, you are always right. I know, you were talking about EBWF fans, not me, I know that.

Sakisama:“ If you thought I wanted to save EBWF or get rid of the plague that we seem to mutually dislike just because I wanted people like you to benefit from it even for a single second … well, I hope no one decided to sell you a bridge lately.”

She is laughing immensely now to her own joke. If you make jokes as funny as that, you would understand her laughing too.

Sakisama:“ I did not face Allysin Kay in Minnesota because I simply didn’t want to. If the people of Minnesota want to blame someone for that match not taking place that day … then they can blame me. Then they can do something they should’ve done a long time ago and realize that their stinking town is not a hospitable place for anyone who has even the tiniest amount of self-respect for themselves. I didn’t even want to wrestle in it, yet people actively make the decision to inhabit that place. More wonders of the world, I suppose.”

Her eyes roll, so does her wrist in a dismissive manner.

Sakisama:“ And quite frankly, I’m not even sure if Allysin Kay still deserves time on national television as we approach the year of your mademoiselle, 2024. I thought we could put the idea of ‘Queens’ wandering around the place to rest finally after Utami realized the errors of her previous ways and even the last Queen of the Ring winner, my dearest Shining Star, didn’t even choose to address herself as such.”

Her eyes are more focused now.

Sakisama:“ But no, we still have Allysin Kay wandering around as if yet another loss on her record does anything for anyone. The funny thing is that Allysin herself can easily boast about two of ‘achievements’ that even ‘eluded’ me, which is winning that tournament and beating the ugly sewer troll Miss Bliss for it.”

And her speech is faster now, she looks like she has a lot to say about this.

Sakisama:“ You know, points that can be easily brought up and be held against my throat like a blade because of how simplistic people tend to look at things. But even the dumbest hillbilly knows those happenstances don’t even mean anything now because surely no one believes that Allysin can replicate that success or even make an attempt to grab that old glory of hers.”

She sounds very dismissive … but venomous at the same time. The fact that this duality can exist within Sakisama truly proves her divine nature, doesn’t it?

Sakisama:“ Washed up, old, ugly, basically a joke. You know what the funniest thing about you is, Allysin? It’s the fact that I did beat you before in EBWF but even with a perfect memory like mine … I did have to work to actually remember that. How can you manage to be that inconsequential? I do remember Lass Kicker being there but you were just a phantom that is easier to forget than to remember. Maybe Minnesota was not the only reason why I never wanted to bother planting your sorry ass in a garden of the forgotten because you aren’t even worth that effort.”

She takes a pause and a funny expression appears on her face.

Sakisama:“ But, maybe, just maybe, you’ll amu-”

And that funny expression leads to a full blown laughter. It is clear that she doesn’t believe what she was just trying to say.

Sakisama:“ Of course you’re not. The reason I decided to do it, the reason why you can say that ‘I came around’ had nothing to do with you, Allysin, trust me. My contempt for your sorry existence remains as it ever was. You couldn’t move a single leaf of emotion within me even if you tried. The reason I finally decided to take the match … is simply an idea given to me by my new and improved Utami.”

Now, that should be curious.

Sakisama:“ Once again, I’m going to test your observation skills. If you did see your new Women’s Champion Arisa Hoshiki addressing me and challenging me to a title match a few weeks back, then congratulations, you passed the test! I, unfortunately, passed the test too, which is a rare thing for me to say, isn’t it?”

Very rare indeed.

Sakisama:“ I am simply taken aback by Arisa’s continued hostility against me and everything I represent when I had been nothing but kind and helpful to her. Yes, there are many reasons why she can take a stance like that but come on, do you believe any of those reasons, albeit good enough, are worth antagonizing me over?”

She acts confused for a second to amplify her reaction to Arisa’s attitude.

Sakisama:“ You can blame my Utami for your shortcomings all you want, Arisa, but what led you to retirement before was the poor decisions you made and I simply want to see you avoid making another one … and you want to brand me as the bad guy for it?”

Her hands gesture to herself and the shocked expression only grows by Arisa’s audacity.

Sakisama:“ Or maybe, it is the people who I willingly associate with that you don’t like. But ‘associate’ is maybe a bit too ‘equal’ of a term for what I have going on with your old nemesis, wouldn’t you say so? Like I said before, I showed Utami the error of her ways, which you always wanted to do yourself. Am I wrong on that? Are you mad at me simply because I did what you couldn’t do? Awww, Arisa, don’t be upset because I knew Utami better than you did!”

The condescending tone is back a bit as her hand dismisses Arisa’s possible concerns.

Sakisama:“ The blunt reality is this, dear Shining Star … unlike Allysin or Alexa or Maika or even Tam, you do have beauty inside you. And my dear, beauty attracts beauty. That’s why you came to aid us against Oedo Tai. That’s why I had no qualms paving the road for you to become the women’s champion. Do those sound like the actions of a woman who wants the worst for you?”

The question remains up in the air, if you ask me, I’d say ‘no’.

Sakisama:“ I don’t want to fight you, Arisa. Beauty should not fight beauty. And I will simply go to Canada and beat Allysin Kay until her hair finally decides on a color because I want to remind you what kind of dominance I establish inside a wrestling ring. After that, if you still want to take me on and even put your title on the line …”

Her eyes glow with curiosity … and perhaps … a hint of desire as well.

Sakisama:“ … well, Arisa. I will have a proposal for you then. But until then, just watch me make Allysin regret all of her life choices and realize that you are not good enough to make that leap of faith twice, my darling. My beauty and my strength are simply eternal … and stars only shine for so long.”