The crowd inside the Allstate Arena cheered as the Tron came alive before the start of Warfare, a video began to play. The backstage area was shown, and the cameraman filmed a door that simply had the Chicago flag on it. The door swung open, revealing Punk in a “Best in the World” t-shirt. His hair was slicked back and he ginned down the lens.
CM Punk: Honnnneeeyyyy, I’m hooooooommmmmmeeeee!
The waiting crowd in the arena cheered and he began leading the camera down the hallway, walking backward slowly as he talked.
CM Punk: I couldn’t have written the last act of my story better myself. And it all starts tonight here in Chicago.
He turned his back to the camera to walk faster and the cameraman was closely behind.
CM Punk: Now, don’t worry yourself or anything. I expect this so-called last act to be long, illustrious, storied…
The sound of the crowd grew louder as CM Punk moved closer to the gorilla. He gestured to the cameraman.
CM Punk: This is where things start to move really fast. Try to keep up, Drew. It’s time to remind these people what time it is…
“Cult of Personality” hit and the crowd somehow got louder as Punk bounded out of the curtain. Drew the cameraman followed behind, giving a unique view of the arena as Punk took a knee and pointed to his wrist, before exploding from his crouched position to yell “It’s Clobbering Time”. He pulled a mic from his back pocket, as the crowd stood with rapt attention. The promo continued to be filmed for EBWF’s social media channels.
CM Punk: It won’t ever get old. Let me promise you. THAT will never ever get old.
That popped the crowd, and Punk smirked.
CM Punk: Welcome to night one of the CM Punk Returns World Tour.
Punk held the microphone up to broadcast the cheers inside the ring.
CM Punk: And yes, I did say world tour. That’s not a prediction. It’s a spoiler.
He winked at the camera.
CM Punk: And tonight, right here in the Allstate Arena, here in my hometown, the reign of Damian Priest ends and the hubris of Paul Heyman dies with it.
Punk chuckled.
CM Punk: Of course, I might be a fool to think I could end the self-assurance of the Wise Man, but you can believe I’m going to try. I tip my metaphorical hat to Damian Priest. He’s been exactly the champion EBWF needs since The Miz disappeared and the women’s division became the most interesting thing about this company. Maybe that’s a compliment, maybe it’s an indictment. That’s for Damian to decide.
It isn’t personal man. I told you that. This business is all about the company you keep, and I think you were smart enough to know that by hitching your wagon to Paul Heyman you were just going to end up courting trouble. But it’s only maybe 10% Paul. 40% the City of Chicago and all the CM Punk fans around the world, and if I’m honest, Damian. It’s 50% me. Proving to myself that this old body can still do the things my heart and my brain want to do.
It's about proving that I’m still the best in the world. It’s about proving that there isn’t a man back there worthy of tying my boots. That every single person back there right now that thinks I can’t do it, is just fueling me. They’re just giving me motivation. Damian, I’m proud of you man. You are a prime example of the belt making the man, but it’s time for it to come around the waist of a man who can make the belt. On you, that title is just an accessory. On me? That title is power. In your world, Damian? Heyman has all the power. You’re not real. You’re just a tall guy, with a mouthpiece, some guyliner and… maybe slightly better tattoos, but last I checked that didn’t make you talented.
Punk shrugged.
CM Punk: This little fairytale is over, Priest. Tonight? I don’t come to the ring alone. I’m coming in 18,500 strong, and tonight, me and the City of Chicago are leaving here with the EBWF World Championship.
The crowd roared.
CM Punk: Hear that, Priest? They’re with me. Now, you should be asking yourself about that guy that says he’s with you.
Punk threw down his microphone, sowing more seeds of doubt as “Cult of Personality” hit and the live feed ended.
Take Me Home
Take Me Home
Writers aren't exactly people. They're a whole bunch of people. Trying to be one person.
The only living, breathing, Queen of Efeds in captivity
"You can't blame a writer for what the characters say." - Truman Capote